I like to read the bible in public places where people are watching me read it. And I like to mumur out to myself: 'Bullshit!' Zach Galifianakis More Quotes by Zach Galifianakis More Quotes From Zach Galifianakis Privacy is big for me. To do interviews even, I have a very love/hate with it. Zach Galifianakis privacy interviews hate We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the "Girlfriend in a Coma" is, like, really funny. Zach Galifianakis girlfriend song mean There's more to life than being an actor in a Hollywood movie. I'm not going to adapt my life after that existence, where a lot of people do. And they get the publicist, and they get all that stuff, and it becomes them. I think it's a stupid way to live your life. A really dumb way to live your life. Zach Galifianakis stupid people thinking I've never been in love... But I imagine it's similar to the feeling you get when you see your waiter arriving with your food Zach Galifianakis arriving imagine feelings Reciting lines is hard; making stuff up is much, much easier. Zach Galifianakis easier lines stuff My headshot is a scratch and sniff, it smells like failure and onions. Zach Galifianakis smell humor funny American society loves to prop people up and then take them down. Zach Galifianakis props american-society people I think comedy does have that powerful thing that doesn't seem too preachy because you're also making people laugh, so it's really kind of a good tool for messaging. Zach Galifianakis powerful laughing thinking Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious. Zach Galifianakis rudeness I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny. Zach Galifianakis track laughing thinking I'm Greek. My body produces feta cheese. Zach Galifianakis feta-cheese body greek I do not have a helmet. But this is a wig, so it's a little protective. Zach Galifianakis wigs humor funny You know how some people have gay-dar? I have fat-dar. I can automatically tell if you're fat or not. And I also have cerebral-palsy-dar. Zach Galifianakis gay humor funny Actually, I used to be a busboy in a strip joint in New York and so I hate strip joints. I'm not that kind of person. Zach Galifianakis joints hate new-york I think comedy is a really, really good tool for trying to say something. Zach Galifianakis tools trying thinking I want to do another reality show. It's based on The Mole. It's about sexually transmitted diseases. It's called "God, I Hope That's a Mole." Zach Galifianakis humor funny reality My name is Zach Galifianakis and I hope I'm pronouncing that right. I'm named after my granddad, my middle name. My name is Zach Granddad Galifianakis. Zach Galifianakis middle names You know you're getting fat when your socks don't fit. Zach Galifianakis fit humor funny I love playing a curmudgeon. I just love playing a sour guy. Zach Galifianakis curmudgeon sour guy I've always wanted to have a Greek sitcom called Olive Lucy. Zach Galifianakis olives greek wanted