I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Chris Rock More Quotes by Chris Rock More Quotes From Chris Rock If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you. Chris Rock uncles humor funny I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day. Chris Rock great-relationship dad girl If you’re a black Christian, you have a real short memory. Chris Rock real christian memories You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense Chris Rock fighting winning men A black man will be elected President of the United States. I'm sorry, that's in the year 10,000. Chris Rock sorry men years The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs. Chris Rock drug government use You know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years. Chris Rock cherish-every-moment life-is-short humor School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man. Chris Rock humor funny school Stop the violence! Can't we all just get along? Chris Rock getting-along violence For me, anything goes when I pick up a mike. I'm not trying to hurt people - I try not to get too personal - but I look at myself as a reporter. If you can report on anything that has to do with pop culture, then why can't I make jokes about it? Yes, it hurts. But I figure that laughter sometimes starts from pain. You might wince, but then I know that I'm doing my job. The only thing I can do wrong is not be funny. Chris Rock laughter hurt jobs You know the world's gone mad when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the USA of arrogance and the Germans don't want to go to war ! Chris Rock rapper usa war People are always going to, you know, find something wrong with people who are not the exact same as them. That's just what it is. Black, white, short, tall, religions, whatever. People are bad. Chris Rock black white people I love black people, but I hate niggers. Chris Rock black hate people Money is the best lotion in the world. Chris Rock lotion world Black movies don't have real names, they have names like Barbershop. That's not a name, that's just a location. Chris Rock black real names The key to staying together is making sure you guys like each other and need each other. Chris Rock keys love relationship I met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke. Chris Rock broke rich people I just remember that whenever I got really mad or passionate, like in an argument, people would laugh, and I'd be dead serious. It would happen a lot. So it was like, Gee, I've got something here. Chris Rock mad laughing people The material comes from whenever you realize that you and someone else have something in common. So any conversation you've had more than once, anything you see happening to you that you see happening to a friend, you go, Hmmm, that's a situation I can make funny. Chris Rock realizing common conversation For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business. Chris Rock show-business comedy shows