I love living. I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they've come up with so far. Neil Simon More Quotes by Neil Simon More Quotes From Neil Simon Don't listen to those who say, you taking too big a chance. Michelangelo would have painted the Sistine floor, and it would surely be rubbed out by today. Neil Simon bigs chance today I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches. Its either very new cheese or very old meat. - Oscar Madison, from The Odd Couple Neil Simon sandwiches couple meat I don’t like writing for comedians. I like writing for actors. The best comedians are the best actors. Neil Simon comedian actors writing Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money. Neil Simon more-money money happiness Gee, what a terrific party. Later on we'll get some fluid and embalm each other. Neil Simon party sarcastic funny I don't like losing the words, as you have to, when I'm asked to turn a play into a movie. It's not a matter of ego . . . I'm just better able to create the character for an audience through words rather than through actions. Neil Simon ego play character I feel like writing about a time when I was probably, and think all of us are, the happiest before the obligations start in. Neil Simon obligation writing thinking A lot of your personality is formed before you're 12, obviously, but only a few of my plays use characters from my childhood. The more mature plays are affected only by my adult experiences. Neil Simon personality play character [When you write a play] you walk into a forest without a knife, without a compass. But . . . if you have a sense of geography, you find that you're clearing a path and getting to the right place. Neil Simon knives play writing I go to see plays all the time, and whenever I see Chekhov, I'm amazed at how this Russian play strikes home to me living 100 years later in New York City. I'm drawn to him because of his way with characters and their relationships with each other. Neil Simon new-york home character I understand. You work very hard two days a week and you need a five-day weekend. That's normal. Neil Simon weekend work two I don't use computers... I'm someone who needs to see the page right away in my hand. Neil Simon use hands needs Goldie Hawn is funny, sexy, beautiful, talented, intelligent, warm, and consistently sunny. Other than that, she doesn't impress me at all. Neil Simon sexy intelligent beautiful Evan Handler's new book is simply wonderful. He pulls you inside his life, and you come out his very close friend. Neil Simon close-friends wonderful book You get attached to the way you write, and I'm attached to notebooks. That's where I really write the plays. Just two or three pages at a time, then I transfer to the typewriter and rewrite while I type. Neil Simon notebook play writing I never write a play with an eye to film. Neil Simon eye play writing Baptists are only funny underwater. Neil Simon underwater baptists You must realize that honorary degrees are given generally to people whose SAT scores were too low to get them into schools the regular way. As a matter of fact, it was my SAT scores that led me into my present vocation in life, comedy. Neil Simon graduation people school Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week. The rest doesn't count. Neil Simon fog zero money I don't like dating or just living with a woman. I like to create a relationship, a marriage. And almost all of my marriages have involved children, so I'm really a family man as well. Neil Simon dating men children