I'm an action transvestite really, so it's running, jumping, climbing trees putting on make-up when you're up there! Eddie Izzard More Quotes by Eddie Izzard More Quotes From Eddie Izzard We have two hundred languages in Europe. Two hundred languages! Count them! I know you won't! Eddie Izzard language europe two We stole countries with the cunning use of flags. Just sail around the world and stick a flag in. "I claim India for Britain!" They're going "You can't claim us, we live here! Five hundred million of us!" "Do you have a flag …? "No..." "Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up! Eddie Izzard flags india country If there were a god, don't you think he would have flicked Hitler's head off? Eddie Izzard ifs religion thinking Your eyes flashed fire into my soul. I immediately read the words of Dostoyevsky and Karl Marx, and in the words of Albert Schweitzer, I FANCY YOU! Eddie Izzard eye soul fire If you think about determination, if people have a heart and are determined, they can get to that place. But there are a lot of negative people who were enormously determined. All the Nazis were determined. They wanted to murder everyone. Everyone with a bad heart, who doesn't care about people, I wish they hadn't started. Eddie Izzard determination heart thinking I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to the gods within us, and to fight the devils within us. Eddie Izzard battle fighting believe When I first came out, I thought, I want to walk like a real woman, I don't want to do mincing steps. And there was some girl I saw walking up Holloway Road in Islington who had this long languid walk and I thought, that's what I like, so I incorporated her walk into mine. Eddie Izzard girl real long My sexuality is straight transvestite or male lesbian. It seems we are beyond the idea that I am gay and hiding it. If I had to describe how I feel in my head, I'd say I'm a complete boy plus half a girl. I don't seem to have the sixth sense that women have or their stronger senses of taste and smell. Gay men can also have it but straight men don't. Eddie Izzard gay girl men I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. Eddie Izzard coffee witty funny I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less. Eddie Izzard comedy dies So then there was the Greek, Socrates, he was great... He invented questioning. Before Socrates, no questioning. Everyone sort of went, ''Yeah, I suppose so. Eddie Izzard questioning yeah greek Scrabble was invented by Nazis to piss off kids with dyslexia. Eddie Izzard scrabble nazi kids There's two positions in snowboarding. One is looking cool and the other is DEAD! Eddie Izzard snowboarding funny two When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. "I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry." And you do that so that people in the room might go, "What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities." Eddie Izzard strong sorry sex And the druids, they were into sex and death in an interesting night-time telly sort of way. Eddie Izzard night funny sex You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you can be an astronaut before you can be an astronaut. You’ve got to believe. Eddie Izzard believe-you-can astronaut believe Racist people, interestingly, are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, "Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette." Eddie Izzard racist mind people I appreciate your applause, but I don't do it for applause. I do it for cash, it's much better. Eddie Izzard cash appreciate money Well, if you don't have a flag, then you can't have a country. Those are the rules... that I just made up! Eddie Izzard flags made country Father, bless me for I have sinned, I did an original sin… I poked a badger with a spoon. Eddie Izzard spoons sin father
