I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you. Craig Ferguson More Quotes by Craig Ferguson More Quotes From Craig Ferguson Fat is where comedy is stored. Craig Ferguson fats comedy After all this time I found that the novel is in fact punk rock. Craig Ferguson punk rocks facts I found out it is just as hard to make a movie that you are not proud of as it is to make one you love. Craig Ferguson one-you-love proud pride Sometimes they would just pay me to stay home and not do anything else, which sounds fantastic but doesn't do much for your ego. Its probably a little like getting alimony - the money is nice but has a nasty aftertaste. Craig Ferguson ego nice home Dr. Jeckyll & Mr. Hyde is a metaphor for alcoholism. He drinks a potion, becomes a monster. I know exactly how he feels. Craig Ferguson humor monsters funny Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know Craig Ferguson shows knows looks Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck. Craig Ferguson luck secret people There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits. Craig Ferguson excited daddy suits I have a deep and profound mistrust of all politicians. Craig Ferguson humor profound funny At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to. Craig Ferguson house want home Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. Craig Ferguson smart people thinking I think in our desire to create a better America,we have to have civilized debate in this country and not just yelling. Craig Ferguson yelling country thinking Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people. Craig Ferguson upset desire people Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it? Craig Ferguson pathology cameras sometimes I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars. Craig Ferguson puppets actors stars My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live, powerful, visible creatures and ... go at them. Craig Ferguson powerful jobs people There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin. Craig Ferguson being-thankful thanksgiving country When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English. Craig Ferguson humor doubt funny I think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't. Craig Ferguson holiday humor funny Well, everyone, welcome to Shark Week. Oh that's on CBS and there's been a lot of cutbacks, so it's just Friday night for a couple of minutes. And we don't have any sharks, just an immigrant with a puppet. Hey, but it's a start! Craig Ferguson friday couple night
