I'm so excited-I think today I'm going to brush all my teeth. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen I had an IQ test. The results came back negative. Woody Allen stupidity god negative Nietzsche says that we will live the same life, over and over again. God - I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. Woody Allen comedian rebirth ice I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude. Woody Allen mother attitude father I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. Woody Allen love-life brother funny I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. Woody Allen witty funny sex We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. Woody Allen books-and-movies humorous witty Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. Woody Allen sexy love funny Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty. Woody Allen tragedy suffering people If I could only see one miracle, just one miracle. Like a burning bush, or the seas part, or my uncle Sasha pick up a check. Woody Allen uncles miracle sea Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it. Woody Allen up-in-the-air standing air My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks. Woody Allen cossacks annie-hall busy I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it. Woody Allen real jobs thinking How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works. Woody Allen nazi hell understanding We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit! Woody Allen lit censorship film Do I believe in God? I did until Mother's accident. She fell on some meat loaf and it penetrated her spleen. Woody Allen meat mother believe All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door. Woody Allen water-skiing doors funny Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more. Woody Allen capacity-to-love simple giving This stuff tastes awful; I could have made a fortune selling it in my health-food store. Woody Allen awful taste stuff It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one’s hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen humorous funny science The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it. Woody Allen actors play people
