I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out. Paula Poundstone More Quotes by Paula Poundstone More Quotes From Paula Poundstone I also like a great Caesar salad with anchovies, although I don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' If you're making a proper Caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies. Paula Poundstone caesar-salad salad ifs I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a night of all women comics, and they invited me to do that. Paula Poundstone connections clubs night I was one of the first people to almost actually vomit over hearing the use of the phrase "family values" and I pride myself on never having fallen for the idea that Barbara Bush was sweet and grandmotherly. I met Barbara Bush and, as I expected, she was a tank with eyes, not a nice person at all and why should that blow anybody away? Paula Poundstone nice eye sweet I hate it when my hair is engaged in unauthorized activities. Paula Poundstone activity hate hair I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I made noodles, but they were hard. It never occurred to me to check them; I just stopped cooking them when I felt they were ready. Really, I'm too absentminded. Paula Poundstone noodles cooking sticks President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself. Paula Poundstone hate blow country When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself. Paula Poundstone cutting writing talking It is the best part of the night. The classic interactive lines are 'Where are you from? What do you do for a living?' I almost always get something interesting. Paula Poundstone lines night interesting My mom is one of those really angry moms who gets mad at absolutely everything. Once when I was a little kid, I accidentally knocked a Flintstones glass off the kitchen table. She said, 'Well, dammit, we can't have nice things.' Paula Poundstone nice mom kids If only someone would do for cows what Bambi did for deer. Cows have been in films, but they haven't starred. I'm still willing to eat a species that is only a supporting player. Paula Poundstone deer cows player I have short-term memory loss, though I'd like to think of it as Persidential eligibility. Paula Poundstone loss memories thinking I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name. Paula Poundstone money mother funny I've always thought that if my death was imminent, I would read. When I can't focus on a book, I tend to keep reading the same page. My guess is, I would've read, like the first page of Nicholas Nickleby over and over again. Paula Poundstone focus reading book I'll probably never have children because I don't believe in touching people for any reason. Paula Poundstone believe children people Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas. Paula Poundstone grow looking want ideas How do you come back? It's one step at a time. I'm optimistic because I don't know what else to be. Paula Poundstone step know you time
