I really am guilty, of many somethings, all of them lethal and very enjoyable and technically not quite legal.

Jeff Lindsay

Categorized in : Guilty Enjoyable

Another dream. Another long-distance call on my phantom party line. No wonder i had steadfastly refused to have dreams for most of my life. So stupid; such pointless, obvious symbols. Totally uncontrollable anxiety soup, hateful, blatant nonsense.

distance stupid dream

And here I always thought morality was useless. by Jeff Lindsay

And here I always thought morality was useless.

morality useless

It was always hard work to push through a crowed of reporters with the scent of blood in their nostrils. You might not think so, since on camera they appear to be brain-damaged wimps with severe eating disorders. But put them at a police barricade and a miraculous thing happens...The strength comes from some mysterious place-and somehow, when there is gore on the ground, these anorexic creatures can push their way through anything. Without mussing their hair, too.

hard-work hair thinking

I rose to my knees, mouth dry and heart pounding, and paused to finger a rip in my beautiful Dacron bowling shirt. I pushed my fingertip through the hole and wiggled it at myself. Hello, Dexter, where are you going? Hello, Mr. Finger. I don't know, but I'm almost there. I hear my friends calling.

rip heart beautiful

I am not shy about admitting my modest talents. For example, I am happy to admit that I am better than average at clever remarks, and I also have a flair for getting people to like me. But to be perfectly fair to myself, I am ever-ready to confess my shortcomings, too, and a quick round of soul-searching forced me to admit that I had never been any good at all at breathing water. As I hung there from the seat belt, dazed and watching the water pour in and swirl around my head, this began to seem like a very large character flaw.

smart clever character

I let it ring. I wanted to breathe for a few minutes, and I could think of nothing that couldn't wait. Besides, I had paid almost $50 for an answering machine. Let it earn its keep.

machines waiting thinking

Whatever made me the way I am left me hollow, empty inside, unable to feel. It doesn't seem like a big deal. I'm quite sure most people fake an awful lot of everyday human contact. I just fake it all. I fake it very well, and the feelings are never there.

fake feelings people

Detective, I don't know where the boyfriend is, really," I said. And it was true, considering tide, current, and the habits of marine scavengers. -Dexter

tides marine detectives

Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me. by Jeff Lindsay

Perhaps because I'll never be one, humans are interesting to me.

human-behavior humans interesting

been there done that, bought the t-shirt" Chapter 2 by Jeff Lindsay

been there done that, bought the t-shirt" Chapter 2

shirts t-shirt done

It's terrible to have to depend on someone else. by Jeff Lindsay

It's terrible to have to depend on someone else.

depends terrible

It took me a moment. I blinked, and suddenly it swam into focus and I had to frown very hard to keep myself from giggling out loud like the schoolgirl Deb had accused me of being. Because he had arranged the arms and legs in letters, and the letters spelled out a single small word: BOO. The three torsos were carefully arranged below the BOO in a quarter-circle, making a cute little Halloween smile. What a scamp.

halloween circles cute

I sighed; as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like... by Jeff Lindsay

I sighed; as comforting as it may be to some of us, sarcasm, like youth, is wasted on the young.

sarcasm may comforting

I'm a very neat monster. by Jeff Lindsay

I'm a very neat monster.

dexter-morgan neat monsters

Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical. by Jeff Lindsay

Because I am an inhuman monster, I tend to be logical.

inhuman logical monsters

And then more quiet, silence so deep it almost drowned out the roar of the night music that pounded away in my secret self.

silence self night

Feeling - what authentic human fun! by Jeff Lindsay

Feeling - what authentic human fun!

humans feelings fun

Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a... by Jeff Lindsay

Rectory always sounded to me like a place where you would find a proctologist.

Saturday morning was their unrestricted television time, and they usually took advantage of it to watch a series of cartoon shows that would certainly have been impossible before the discovery of LSD.

cartoon discovery morning

Getting yelled at by a furious woman should be treated as a semif... by Jeff Lindsay

Getting yelled at by a furious woman should be treated as a semiformal occasion.

furious formal should