I should have written that down. - Dilbert Scott Adams More Quotes by Scott Adams More Quotes From Scott Adams A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule. Scott Adams investingschedulesaverage You might think the word "homemade" is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why. Scott Adams sleepnightthinking My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser. Scott Adams loserphonesphilosophy For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude. Scott Adams optimismnutsattitude Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again. Scott Adams needing-someoneneedsfirsts For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal. Scott Adams oddsgoalrunning E-books are impervious to analogy. Scott Adams libraryanalogiesbook Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away. Scott Adams bangsgoing-awayscience Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click. Scott Adams tonightsimplescience Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science. Scott Adams starsnightscience Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly. Scott Adams machinessciencethinking If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. Scott Adams figureswantpay Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn. Scott Adams coworkerbloggingturns Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight. Scott Adams plain-sightlikessight Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs. Scott Adams natureeyescience Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Scott Adams golfsciencelying As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line. Scott Adams cathumorfunny Good ideas have no value because the world already has too many of them. The market rewards execution, not ideas. Scott Adams rewardsworldideas Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent. Scott Adams talentdecisionpeople Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee. Scott Adams sadnesscoffeeenough
