I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA. Jen Lancaster More Quotes by Jen Lancaster More Quotes From Jen Lancaster I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything. Jen Lancaster remembers-everythingpeoplethinking I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light. Jen Lancaster light When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations? Jen Lancaster rudephonescells Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes. Jen Lancaster herpesone-wordwould-be I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve. Jen Lancaster hooknew-yearyears The best thing about being 45 is not taking myself so seriously. Jen Lancaster best-thingsage I think people tend to be very myopic and they dont understand how their actions impact others. Jen Lancaster impactpeoplethinking Quinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and cats with a taste for homicide are pithy and uproarious and not to be missed. Notes from the Underwire is charming, hilarious, and just snarky enough to be ultimately satisfying. Jen Lancaster cattastebook Everyone who reads me is someone I'd like to hang out with. Jen Lancaster hanging-out Expressing political opinion can be a powerful way to establish a character's voice when writing fiction. Jen Lancaster powerfulwritingcharacter I believe that I have such a vanilla life. Jen Lancaster vanillai-believebelieve I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors. Jen Lancaster talkingbookyears I learned to glitter the pumpkins for Halloween not because I went into it thinking, 'I'm going to glitter some pumpkins!' No. I bought all of these big, cold, slimy, disgusting pumpkins and tried to carve them, and it was gross, so I had to find something else to do with them. Glitter was life-changing. Jen Lancaster findsomethingcoldthinking I had been terrified of Halloween my entire adult life. Loved it as a kid, but the minute I got out of college, there were little kids at my door demanding candy, which, No. 1, I couldn't afford, and, No. 2, if I had candy, it would be mine. Jen Lancaster doorlovedcollegelife Plaid is always cute and always will be. But only on the bottom. At the top, it makes you look like a farmer. Jen Lancaster farmerlookyoucute Remember when Japan was cool? We used to run around with 'Mr. Roboto' on our Walkmans, 'The Karate Kid' in our Betamaxes and wore T-shirts embossed with the characters for 'storm sewer' and 'dishwasher.' Jen Lancaster runcoolstormremember The Tao of Jen was very much the Tao of hiding everything that didn't look good. The Tao of Jen is wearing a cocktail dress with underwear with holes in it. The Tao of Jen is all style and no substance. Jen Lancaster dressgoodlookstyle I like Oprah. I could sit around and make vision boards all day, but I wouldn't actually get anything done if I were to concentrate on my feelings rather than doing. Jen Lancaster doingdayvisionfeelings When you think about a drill sergeant, a drill sergeant expects you to perform your best, and if you don't, they're going to stay on you until you do. Jen Lancaster yourbestthinkyou Here's a bit of Discovery Channel for you - apples don't last forever. They can stay fresh for a long time, especially when refrigerated, but definitely not from December into the month of March. Jen Lancaster youdecembertimelong
