I tend to process stuff by making jokes about it. It's something that makes me annoying to be around in times of real crisis. Alexandra Petri More Quotes by Alexandra Petri More Quotes From Alexandra Petri A picture can hide as much as it reveals. Alexandra Petri revealshidemuchpicture George Washington didn't have to make us laugh; he just had to establish precedents and avoid chopping down more cherry trees than he could possibly help. But somewhere along the line, Americans began expecting their presidents to do more than just govern. They also had to make us laugh. Alexandra Petri treeslaughhelpdown Snow is like a manic pixie dream girl: fun and whimsical when you encounter it only through the barrier of a movie screen - but absolute misery to have to put up with in real life. Alexandra Petri yougirlsnowlife The difference between face-to-face conversation and any other medium of communication is simple: No distractions are permitted. Alexandra Petri anycommunicationsimpleconversation I think, when you're doing a column and blogging every day, you get familiar with the sound of your own voice. Alexandra Petri daythinkyouvoice In general, sincerity is awkward. Alexandra Petri generalsincerityawkward There is something about a mortarboard that gives otherwise sane and normal people the overwhelming urge to burden you with advice. Some of them cannot help themselves. They were asked to do it by a committee. But one can only take so many pieces of wisdom before they all start to blur together. Alexandra Petri youwisdomtogetherpeople Comedy and politics have a lot in common. Both are great ways to pick up chicks - just look at Governor Spitzer. Or Ellen Degeneres. Both require spending time on the road meeting strangers who often have the desire to throw things at you. Both are difficult, if not impossible, to do all alone. And both rely heavily on personality. Alexandra Petri alonepoliticspersonalitytime Woodstock didn't define a generation because everyone showed up or those who did were a perfectly representative sample. It defined a generation because, for a few days, it bottled its peculiar zeitgeist. Alexandra Petri dayseveryonegenerationbecause Anything you loved, however intensely, becomes mortifying the moment you cease to love it. Alexandra Petri lovedmomentyoulove Good laughs melt out of memory pretty quickly. Alexandra Petri outprettymemorygood It is possible to assemble a narrative for yourself, brokenly, on social media, only seeing what you want to look at. Alexandra Petri yourselflookyousocial-media Books are wonderful. They are like people, except they mind less when you put them down and wander off to eat something. Alexandra Petri downyoumindpeople In society at large, nerds are law-abiding, caring, fundamentally good folk who keep the wheels of civilization grinding. Alexandra Petri goodsocietycaringcivilization I am a millennial. Destruction is all I know. I no longer care what I wipe from the face of the Earth. Alexandra Petri facei-amknowcare Any promising young white man rich enough to theoretically afford a giant oil painting of himself gets to remain young and innocent forever, and none of his actions have any consequences, whether there is magic involved or not. Alexandra Petri manrichpaintingwhite Standup comedy was my weird hobby. I would drag my poor parents out to the only open mics that were in coffee shops instead of bars. I'd get up and go, 'Hi, I'm 17, and I have jokes about matriculation!' At the time I was like, 'Why is no one laughing?' Alexandra Petri weirdparentscoffeetime My first summer in college, I interned for Arena Stage in D.C. and taught a disastrous class on standup comedy to middle schoolers at the Arena Stage camp. I had never taught anything before, and needless to say, I quickly lost control of the class. Alexandra Petri controlnevercomedycollege I majored in extracurriculars, honestly. I joined the Harvard Stand Up Comedy Society, which is a ragtag band of misfits. I wrote for 'On Harvard Time,' which was a student TV show trying to be 'The Daily Show.' And I wrote a humor column for 'The Crimson' starting my sophomore year. Alexandra Petri dailysocietyhumortime My goal is to be weirder than everybody else and hope that no one stops me. So far, no one has. Alexandra Petri farmegoalhope
