I think of shock as kind of an uptown form of surprise. Comedy is filled with surprise, so when I cross a line... I like to find out where the line might be and then cross it deliberately, and then make the audience happy about crossing the line with me.

George Carlin

Categorized in : Thinking Uptown Crossing The Line

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

George Carlin

nature stupid philosophy

Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation.You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own, and control the corporations. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear.

George Carlin

smart running thinking

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

George Carlin

sarcastic witty funny

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

George Carlin

sarcastic witty funny

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

George Carlin

witty life funny

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

George Carlin

inspirational life funny

To my way of thinking, there is every bit as much evidence for the existence of UFOs as there is for the existence of God. Probably far more. At least in the case of UFOs there have been countless taped and filmed and, by the way, unexplained sightings from all over the world, along with documented radar evidence seen by experienced military and civilian radar operators.>&gt.

George Carlin

military world thinking

The real reason that we can’t have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post “Thou shalt not steal,” “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” and “Thou shalt not lie” in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

George Carlin

real philosophy lying

Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? We have the war on crime, the war on

George Carlin

cancer war america

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

George Carlin

politician media different

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

George Carlin

music inspirational life

Your dog thinks you're a god. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole.

George Carlin

cat dog thinking

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

George Carlin

learning faith children

If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're gonna get selfish, ignorant leaders.

George Carlin

ignorant selfish leader

Keep in mind, the news media are not independent; they are a sort of bulletin board and public relations firm for the ruling class-the people who run things. Those who decide what news you will or will not hear are paid by, and tolerated purely at the whim of, those who hold economic power. If the parent corporation doesn't want you to know something, it won't be on the news. Period. Or, at the very least, it will be slanted to suit them, and then rarely followed up.

George Carlin

independent media running

Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away.

George Carlin

birthday inspirational life

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

George Carlin

humor beer funny

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

George Carlin

terrific work pay

People are wonderful. I love individuals. I hate groups of people. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. 'Cause pretty soon they have little hats. And armbands. And fight songs. And a list of people they're going to visit at 3am. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking.

George Carlin

hate eye song

Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.

George Carlin

optimism glasses people