I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think; there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff. Roseanne Barr More Quotes by Roseanne Barr More Quotes From Roseanne Barr Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate their divided consciousness with a natural herb instead of doctors' pills that kill the liver. Roseanne Barr marijuanawomenmedicine The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it. Roseanne Barr strong-womenbeing-stronginspirational Half the world's starving; the other half is trying to lose weight. Roseanne Barr halftryingworld Excuse the mess but we live here. Roseanne Barr cleaningmessexcuse As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job. Roseanne Barr husbandinspirationaljobs Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself. Roseanne Barr womenhumortime It's a big culture of mind control too, MK-Ultra mind control rules in Hollywood. If you don't know that, google it and look into it. It's really hard for artists to find their voice in the media. It's levels of brainwashing and mind control. Roseanne Barr mediavoiceartist My husband says, 'Roseanne, don't you think we ought to talk about our sexual problems?' Like I'm gonna turn off Wheel of Fortune for that. Roseanne Barr wheelshusbandthinking If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun. Roseanne Barr dyingworryfun I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200. Roseanne Barr hellpoliticianwant A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer. Roseanne Barr nerdartistlistening I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. Roseanne Barr mommotherclever I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house. Roseanne Barr smellfeel-betterbeer Comedy is the only hope for humanity. Roseanne Barr comedyeasterhumanity Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist and extreme. Bombs get thrown only when people cannot honestly talk together. Roseanne Barr sufferingtogetherpeople Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time. Roseanne Barr los-angelesdonefirsts There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better. Roseanne Barr doughnutproblemearth Being nuts is its own reward. Roseanne Barr rewardsnuts My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel. Roseanne Barr militaryrunningfunny Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too. Roseanne Barr lonelywritingthinking
