I've always believed that there are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers. Steve Martin More Quotes by Steve Martin More Quotes From Steve Martin I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden. Steve Martin saws dragons funny I was deeply unhappy, but I didn't know it because I was so happy all the time. Steve Martin humor unhappy funny The banjo is such a happy instrument--you can't play a sad song on the banjo - it always comes out so cheerful. Steve Martin humor song funny It's pain that changes our lives. Steve Martin our-lives pain I could never be a woman, 'cause I'd just stay home and play with my breasts all day. Steve Martin causes play home Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol. Steve Martin block drinking funny There's no better way to learn something than to learn it in front of an audience. Your terror drives you. Steve Martin audience terror way You can't really conduct your life by one or two phrases. Steve Martin phrases two Some nights, alone, he thinks of her, and some nights, alone, she thinks of him. Some night these thoughts, separated by miles and time zones, occur at the same objective moment, and Ray and Mirabelle are connected without ever knowing it. Steve Martin time-zones night thinking Acting is collaborative because you are working with another actor, and it's almost like a two-man juggling team. You have to really be in sync. Steve Martin team men two Through the years, I have learned there is no harm in charging oneself up with delusions between moments of valid inspiration. Steve Martin moments inspiration years Being on Twitter is like having a fern. Steve Martin ferns You want to be a bit compulsive in your art or craft or whatever you do. Steve Martin crafts want art Awards mean nothing to comedians. What matters is the audience, how you're doing - artistically, for the most part - at that moment. Steve Martin awards what-matters mean It's so hard to believe in anything anymore, you know what I mean? It's like, religion, you really can't take it seriously, 'cause it seems so mythological, and seems so arbitrary; and then on the other hand, science is just pure empiricism, and by virtue of its method, it excludes metaphysics. I guess I wouldn't believe in anything if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch. Steve Martin humor funny believe The conscious mind is the editor, and the subconscious mind is the writer. Steve Martin editors mind writing The Apple Pie Hubbub was a significant novel for me, because that's when I first started using verbs. Steve Martin verbs apples pie What I mean is that none of my talents had a - what's that great word - rubric. A singer, an actor, a dancer - there was nothing I could really say I was. The writing came much later. And, actually, thank God, because if I had said I'm a singer, I would really have just had one thing to do. Steve Martin dancer writing mean When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane. Steve Martin capable insane Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only get to do when Billy Crystal is out of town. Steve Martin oscars making-love funny