I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier. Woody Allen More Quotes by Woody Allen More Quotes From Woody Allen Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue. Woody Allen errorslifefunny I foresee death by culture shock. Woody Allen culture-shockshockculture God is silent. Now if only man would shut up. Woody Allen humorousgodwitty I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person! Woody Allen healthynicegoal Oh, he was probably a member of the National Rifle Association. It was a group that helped criminals get guns so they could shoot citizens. It was a public service. Woody Allen criminalsgroupsgun Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing. Woody Allen depressingpoliticalyears Where I grew up in Brooklyn, nobody committed suicide. Everyone was too unhappy. Woody Allen brooklynunhappysuicide I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child. Woody Allen only-childgirlchildren Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. Woody Allen notionideasthinking Taste my tuna casserole - tell me if I put in too much hot fudge. Woody Allen fudgetunahot See, I never gain an ounce, because, you know, my anxiety acts like aerobics. Woody Allen anxietygainsknows How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket? Woody Allen humorfunnyscience How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter? Woody Allen godwittyfunny My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst. Woody Allen manhattananalystsbeautiful I'm awash in self-contempt! Woody Allen contemptsadself I was in analysis for years because of a traumatic childhood; I was breast-fed through falsies. Woody Allen childhoodanalysisyears Existence for eternity could get a little boring... especially towards the end. Woody Allen boredomlittlesdirectors I hope you're getting this down. Woody Allen hilarious-lovehappy-lovelove-and-death There are three rings involved with marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. Woody Allen engagementthreesuffering Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. Woody Allen frozendinnertvs
