I've got like a week and a half left, all bets are off. Rob Corddry More Quotes by Rob Corddry More Quotes From Rob Corddry Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day. Rob Corddry next-day broadway actors If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer. Rob Corddry humorous witty funny I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling. Rob Corddry comedy night years I like playing really super-intense, live-in-the-moment characters. It asks me to not phone it in. It's impossible to phone it in. Every American boy has spent his childhood pretending to get shot. Rob Corddry childhood character boys If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about. Rob Corddry stakes responsibility worry I peed in my wife's boot once. On honeymoon, in Madrid, we were drinking absinthe and somehow made it back to our hotel. I don't remember a second of this, but my wife woke up to this noise. Two of her boots were in the corner, one had fallen down and the other was standing up and I was peeing into it! It was a hole, and it looked like a toilet. She said: "Rob, wake up, you're peeing into my shoe!" Rob Corddry shoes drinking two I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far." Rob Corddry daughter two people I don't like gadgets for their own sake. I like gadgets that are tools. And I like simple gadgets that do one thing really well like a hammer. Rob Corddry hammers tools simple I want to manufacture a feud. Rob Corddry feuds want It looks like garbage, my ass. But trust me, you're lucky it's not full-frontal. Rob Corddry garbage lucky looks I have to stay true to myself. Rob Corddry true-to-myself stay-true I am realizing how old I am 'cause I am meeting so many people that were born in the 80s, which is crazy to me that I was going through puberty and [they weren't] even alive. Rob Corddry alive crazy people I touched an Oscar once. Friend of mine has one, for writing. As soon as I touched it, he said, Now you'll never win one. Rob Corddry oscars winning writing I remember saying in college that I would never do commercials. Rob Corddry comedy college remember I actually got the part. And I thought, Well, I'll do it for a while. I'll just quit if it's stupid. Rob Corddry quitting comedy stupid My mother was very, very Protestant. I grew up Presbyterian, and I went to church every Sunday until I was 18. I was forced to. Rob Corddry sunday church mother I get all of my comedy from CNN. Rob Corddry cnn comedy Pat OBrien knows nothing. Hes on the Hell express. Rob Corddry hell knows If it's January, I'm dead in three hours. But in June, I'd be hungry, but I'd make it out. I'd find my way without a map or compass. I say that with confidence. I can build a fire without a match. Rob Corddry three june fire I don't know how this company got the name National Shakespeare Company, because it was literally like retards employing retards. Rob Corddry retard comedy names
