I've never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn't know how really great he is. Bob Hope More Quotes by Bob Hope More Quotes From Bob Hope I can't understand what's holding up our missile program. It's the first time the government ever had trouble making the taxpayers' money go up in smoke. Bob Hope government trouble firsts That's life. The older you get, the tougher it is to score. Bob Hope dieting weight-loss golf Eisenhower admitted that the budget can't be balanced and McCarthy said the communists are taking over. You don't know what to worry about these days - whether the country will be overthrown or overdrawn. Bob Hope over-you worry country Be happy you guys. Be proud! You know what you are: you're God's frozen people. Bob Hope frozen guy people Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing! Bob Hope healing wonderful mean Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls. Bob Hope balls play golf I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it? Bob Hope addresses government perfect The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it. Bob Hope humorous funny country I need money. I have a staff of 30, and four houses, never mind the government, to support. Bob Hope support government house English clubs are very exclusive. I played Royal Foxshire and they made me wear a suit and tie. . . in the shower. Bob Hope ties humorous funny The audience was swell. They were so polite they covered their mouths when they yawned. Bob Hope polite audience mouths I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there. Bob Hope get-up names golf A photographer kept shooting me every time I swung. I was very flattered until I found out he was from Field and Stream. Bob Hope shooting fields golf I'd give up golf if I didn't have so many sweaters. Bob Hope sweaters giving-up golf And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them. We didn't know that in America after the war, you wouldn't be able to get into a sushi joint without a reservation. And we thought they lost. Bob Hope sorry war funny Timing is the essence of life, and definitely of comedy. Bob Hope essence-of-life comedy essence My old friend Jack Benny has only had one ball all his golfing life. And now he's lost it. The string came off! Bob Hope balls old-friends golf As soon as the war ended, we located the one spot on earth that hadn't been touched by the war and blew it to hell. Bob Hope hell earth war I don't bother to look for parking space anymore. As soon as I get near Hollywood Boulevard ... I sell. Bob Hope california space funny England occupies a warm spot in my affections. It was the scene of my greatest performance. I was born there. Bob Hope england humorous funny