Frank Zappa: I want a girl that can swallow my pride.

I'll give you a simple formula for straightening out the problems of the United States. First, you tax the churches. You take the tax off of capital gains and the tax off of savings. You decriminalize all and tax them same way as you do alcohol. You decriminalize . You make gambling legal. That will put the budget back on the road to recovery, and you'll have plenty of tax revenue coming in for all of your social programs, and to run the army.

Frank Zappa

recovery army running

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

Frank Zappa

block humor stupid

Just because somebody hears something you say, or reads something that you write, doesn't mean you've reached them. With reading comprehension being what it is in the U. S., you can safely toss that one out the window. If you want to judge by the listening habits of people who buy records, the first thing they do is put it on and talk over it.

Frank Zappa

reading writing mean

I believe that people have a right to decide their own destinies; people own themselves. I also believe that, in a democracy, government exists because (and only so long as) individual citizens give it a temporary license to exist, in exchange for a promise that it will behave itself. In a democracy, you own the government. It doesn't own you.

Frank Zappa

destiny government believe

Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.

Frank Zappa

sick feel-better sometimes

The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.

Frank Zappa

eyebrows emotional missing-you

Bad facts make bad law, and people who write bad laws are in my opinion more dangerous than songwriters who celebrate sexuality.

Frank Zappa

law writing people

Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.

Frank Zappa

guitar feelings

Moving to Montana soon, gonna be a dental floss tycoon.

Frank Zappa

dental-floss work moving

Let's not be too tough on our own ignorance. It's the thing that makes

Frank Zappa

eight ignorance years

I don't think there's a problem. First of all, I don't think music turns people into social liabilities. Because you hear a lyric

Frank Zappa

people firsts thinking

Your mind is totally controlled, it has been stuffed into my mold. And you will do as you are told, until the rights to you are sold.

Frank Zappa

mold rights mind

I enjoy irritating the people who enjoy being irritated.

Frank Zappa

irritated enjoy people

There's no reason to assume that my idea of what's better would really be better. I resent it when other people try to inflict their ideas of betterness on me. I don't think they know. And I can't see any authority on the horizon that's got any answers that seem worthwhile. Most of the things that are suggested are probably detrimental to your mental health.

Frank Zappa

people ideas thinking

Gimme the tune. Do I like this tune? Does it sound like another tune that I like? The more familiar it is, the better I like it. Hear those three notes there? Those are the three notes I can sing along with. I like those notes very, very much. Give me a beat. Not a fancy one. Give me a GOOD BEAT -- something I can dance to. It has to go boom-bap, boom-boom-BAP. If it doesn't, I will hate it very, very much. Also, I want it right away -- and then, write me some more songs like that -- over and over and over again, because I'm really into music.

Frank Zappa

hate writing song

A true Zen saying: "Nothing is what I want.

Frank Zappa

saying-nothing want

Scientology, how about that? You hold on to the tin cans and then this guy asks you a bunch of questions, and if you pay enough money you get to join the master race. How's that for a religion ?

Frank Zappa

tin-cans guy race

Everybody believes in something and everybody, by virtue of the fact that they believe in something, uses that something to support their own existence.

Frank Zappa

support use believe

I think love lyrics have contributed to the general aura of bad mental health in America.

Frank Zappa

depression america thinking

Well the thing is that under the [Ronald] Reagan administration, excesses have occurred in terms of over regulating certain types of behavior, and excesses have occurred in the opposite direction, in de-regulating other types of behavior. As a matter of fact, if they continue to regulate the airlines, we might have safer skies, and if they slack off on the radio, we might have better radio. If they just use it as a threat, eventually there's going to be another test case like the one that the 7 dirty words ruling came out of, and basically, its extortion.

Frank Zappa

opposites sky dirty