I want to be remembered for my poop jokes. Those are the most important kind. Eric Andre More Quotes by Eric Andre More Quotes From Eric Andre I'm a lurker and a creep. Women don't like me because I sleep standing up, like a horse. Eric Andre dont-like-me horse sleep I'm an elderly Jewish lesbian trapped in a 33 year old nerd's body. Eric Andre elderly nerd years I'm insecure, and I need the validation of strangers to feel whole. So, I need every single racist 12-year-old on the Internet to like me, or I don't feel complete. Eric Andre insecure validation years A hole is a hole has always been my motto. Eric Andre my-motto motto holes I can't tell if the world is worse now or if we just have more cameras. There are cameras everywhere, so now the world knows how bad the world is. Eric Andre know-how cameras world I will smoke crack before I die. I want to see what all the hubbub is about. Eric Andre cracks dies want I think everyone is bi, right? There's no such thing as sexual orientation, or race, or gender. Those are all obsolete man-made concepts. Eric Andre race men thinking The president is the country's scapegoat more than the country's leader; the president has as much power as we think the president has. Whoever has the most money is the puppet master. Eric Andre leader country thinking I think we give human beings too much credit. We're primates, you know. Eric Andre credit giving thinking Before The Simpsons, I was 4 years old, so I don't know exactly what I was thinking before that. Eric Andre knows years thinking Do you think we're going to hit a tipping point and the world's going to end? Eric Andre tipping world thinking Like I said, a sketch is one joke. They shouldn't really be more than a minute, two minutes. There are some shows where the sketch goes on for five minutes. It's like, "I get it! I'm already bored. I did like the joke, but I don't anymore, because you went on too long." Eric Andre bored two long I'm an Aries. I need everybody to like me. Eric Andre aries like-me needs When I'm watching South Park I don't think it's written by neo-Nazis. They know exactly what they're doing. Eric Andre nazi parks thinking I feel like we put all the weight on the president, rather than distributing the weight to all of the elected officials. Eric Andre weight president feels Wonder Showzen is one of my favorite shows of all time. When I first saw it, I thought it was so funny and new and original and edgy and insane and subversive. I didn't know comedy could do that. Eric Andre saws insane firsts You can't really feel the direct change from one president to another versus people closer to you in local elections. Eric Andre election president people I just grew up with it [The Simpsons]. The first season came on when I was 5, 6 years old, and the show evolved as I was growing up and got funnier and funnier and, by the time I was in 12th grade, they were at their funniest. Eric Andre growing-up years firsts If the crowd is full of assholes, it's no fun. If the crowd is cool, it's great. Eric Andre crowds ifs fun I think part of it is the fact that they were kind of the first of its kind - there weren't a lot of cartoons for adults. People forget at the time that The Simpsons started out, it was controversial - the fact that they said "hell" and "damn" in a cartoon was a lot. America was in an uproar. Eric Andre america people thinking
