I won't have to miss smoking any more. Nobody smokes where I'm going: It's like a row of restaurants in California. Clive James More Quotes by Clive James More Quotes From Clive James What is Camille Paglia doing, writing that an actress as gifted as Anne Heche has the mental depth of a pancake? How many pancake brains could do what Heche did with David Mamet's dialogue in Wag the Dog? No doubt Heche has been stuck with a few bad gigs, but Paglia, of all people, must be well aware that being an actress is not the same safe ride as being the tenured university professor of humanities and media studies at the University of the Arts in Philadelphia. Clive James dog writing art John McEnroe looks as if he is serving round the edge of an imaginary building. Clive James tennis building looks In recent years, perhaps encouraged by competition from McDonald's, the British hamburger has become a credit to the nation. At the time of which I speak, it looked like a scorched beer-coaster or a tenderized disc brake. Clive James humorous beer funny Spending all my remaining money on a ticket to Florence was rendered needlessly complicated by the fact that none of the ticket-sellers had ever heard of the place. At last their supervisor showed up and set them straight by informing them that the city they had always referred to as 'Firenze' was in reality called Florence. Clive James italian humorous funny In London there was no home cooking worthy of the name. When you were in funds you ate out. But only the people whose faces appeared in such publications as Town and Queen could afford to eat in restaurants serving food which would leave them looking and feeling better instead of worse. Clive James queens humorous funny Perhaps I should have pointed out more often that without her (mother's) guidance and example I might have gone straight from short pants to Long Bay Gaol, which in those days was still in use and heavily populated by larcenous young men who had chosen their parents less wisely. Clive James humorous mother funny A decade ago, critics suggested biotech crops would not be valuable in the developing world. Now 90 percent of farmers who benefit are resource-poor farmers in developing countries. These helped alleviate 7.7 million subsistence farmers in China, India, South Africa, the Philippines from abject poverty. Clive James developing-countries country world The smartest move I ever made in showbusiness was to start off looking like the kind of wreck I would end up as. I was already aged in the wood. Clive James wrecks woods moving Mocking Hugh Hefner is easy to do, and in my mind should be made easier. Clive James easier easy mind Once, BBC television had echoed BBC radio in being a haven for standard English pronunciation. Then regional accents came in: a democratic plus. Then slipshod usage came in: an egalitarian minus. By now slovenly grammar is even more rife on the BBC channels than on ITV. In this regard a decline can be clearly charted... If the BBC, once the guardian of the English language, has now become its most implacable enemy, let us at least be grateful when the massacre is carried out with style. Clive James style grateful enemy If we want a book to do more than what it does, that's a condemnation. If we want it to do more of what it does, that's an endorsement. Clive James doe want book Dinner was meat - not hunks of meat, as in Australia, but pathetic scraps of meat, as in Britain - which the girls upstairs transformed into edible dishes by heating it in secret ways and adding bits of stuff to it. Clive James girl humorous funny As far as talent goes, Marilyn Monroe was so minimally gifted as to be almost unemployable, and anyone who holds to the opinion that she was a great natural comic identifies himself immediately as a dunce. Clive James talent opinion natural The British secret service was staffed at one point almost entirely by alcoholic homosexuals working for the KGB Clive James kgb classic secret Whoever called snooker "chess with balls" was rude, but right. Clive James balls rude sports Television is simultaneously blamed, often by the same people, for worsening the world and for being powerless to change it. Clive James change people television Anyone afraid of what he thinks television does to the world is probably just afraid of the world. Clive James community wisdom thinking All honest labor becomes easy; it only becomes hard when done with unwillingness. Clive James effort honest done Even in moments of tranquility, Murray Walker sounds like a man whose trousers are on fire. Clive James fire sound men Everyone has a right to a university degree in America, even if it's in Hamburger Technology. Clive James technology college graduation
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