If a job's worth doing, it's too hard. Scott Adams More Quotes by Scott Adams More Quotes From Scott Adams A person with a flexible schedule and average resources will be happier than a rich person who has everything except a flexible schedule. Step one in your search for happiness is to continually work toward having control of your schedule. Scott Adams investing schedules average You might think the word "homemade" is just a word we use as a marketing ploy. But what you don't realize is that the staff sleeps here at night. If your tablecloth is wrinkled, that's why. Scott Adams sleep night thinking My philosophy is that every phone conversation has a loser. Scott Adams loser phones philosophy For the record, I am not a nut. I am an optimist. That's exactly like a nut except with a better attitude. Scott Adams optimism nuts attitude Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If they are not there the first time you need them, chances are you won't be needing them again. Scott Adams needing-someone needs firsts For our purposes, let’s say a goal is a specific objective that you either achieve or don’t sometime in the future. A system is something you do on a regular basis that increases your odds of happiness in the long run. If you do something every day, it’s a system. If you’re waiting to achieve it someday in the future, it’s a goal. Scott Adams odds goal running E-books are impervious to analogy. Scott Adams library analogies book Dilbert: It took weeks but I've calculated a new theory about the origin of the universe. According to my calculations it didn't start with a "Big Bang" at all-it was more of "Phhbwt" sound. You may be wondering about the practical applications of the "Little Phhbwt" theory. Dogbert: I was wondering when you'll go away. Scott Adams bangs going-away science Newsreader: A huge asteroid could destroy Earth! And by coincidence, that's the subject of tonight's miniseries. Dogbert: In science, researchers proved that this simple device can keep idiots off your television screen. [TV remote control] Click. Scott Adams tonight simple science Dogbert gazing at night sky No matter how bad the day is, the stars are always there. Dilbert Actually, many of them burned out years ago, but their light is just now reaching earth. DogbertThank you for shattering my comfortable misconception. DilbertIt's the miracle of science. Scott Adams stars night science Dilbert: I'm obsessed with inventing a perpetual motion machine. Most scientists think it's impossible, but I have something they don't. Dogbert: A lot of spare time? Dilbert: Exactly. Scott Adams machines science thinking If you want success, figure out the price, then pay it. Scott Adams figures want pay Blogging is like work, but without coworkers thwarting you at every turn. Scott Adams coworker blogging turns Failure is where success likes to hide in plain sight. Scott Adams plain-sight likes sight Dinosaur: I plan to use punctuated equilibrium to turn this zit into a third eye. Catbert: That's not a natural advantage. You'd better stay away from the fitter dinosaurs. Scott Adams nature eye science Dogbert: Scientists have discovered the gene that makes some people love golf. Scott Adams golf science lying As a fan, I'm distraught, but as a cartoonist looking at new vacant spaces in 2400 newspapers, well, behind me, my cats are dancing a conga line. Scott Adams cat humor funny Good ideas have no value because the world already has too many of them. The market rewards execution, not ideas. Scott Adams rewards world ideas Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent. Scott Adams talent decision people Sadness is just another word for not enough coffee. Scott Adams sadness coffee enough