If I'd known how old I was going to be I'd have taken better care of myself. Jimmy Durante More Quotes by Jimmy Durante More Quotes From Jimmy Durante Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're gonna meet them all coming down. Jimmy Durante nice success funny My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. Jimmy Durante marriage inspirational funny My nose isn't big. I just happen to have a very small head. Jimmy Durante portraiture bigs noses Everybody wants ta get inta da act! Jimmy Durante want All of us have schnozzles... if not in our faces, then in our character, minds or habits. When we admit our schnozzles, instead of defending them, we begin to laugh, and the world laughs with us. Jimmy Durante mind character laughing Make someone happy, Jimmy Durante make-someone-happy just-one Don't put no constrictions on da people. Leave 'em ta hell alone. Jimmy Durante hell leave-me-alone It dawned on me then that as long as I could laugh, I was safe from the world; and I have learned since that laughter keeps me safe from myself, too. Jimmy Durante laughter laughing long Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did. Jimmy Durante comedian developing radio Me and my big mouth! I'd get rid of it, only it's such a handy place to keep my teeth. Jimmy Durante teeth silence mouths What did Napolean do for relaxation? He read a book. What did Lincoln do for relaxation? He read a book. What does Congress do for relaxation? They book a red. Jimmy Durante doe relaxation book Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. Jimmy Durante home inspirational men At four o'clock in the morning most people have been asleep for hours, but at four o'clock in the morning the night-club children of a few years ago were just getting hot. The band jazzed at full blast. The air was so thick you could pick it up in handfulls and through it around like snowballs. The dance-floors were crowded with couples who couldn't do anything but wiggle hips and feet. Jimmy Durante couple morning children Start off each day with a song. Jimmy Durante each-day song I was hurt so deep that I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made jokes about anybody's big ears, their stut-terin', or about them bein' off their nut. Jimmy Durante hurt nuts mind What's a depression? The dictionary says a depression is a dent. And what's a dent? Everybody knows a dent is a hole. And what's a hole? You tell me what's a hole! And I'll tell you that a hole is nothin'! Jimmy Durante dictionary holes depression Don't put no constrictions on da people! Leave 'em the hell alone! Jimmy Durante ems democracy people Now you know that you can't go wrong... If you start each day with a song. Jimmy Durante each-day knows song Nobody realizes that I work 18 hours-a-day for a solid month to make that TV hour look like it's never been rehearsed! Jimmy Durante motivation months looks Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once. Jimmy Durante humanity animal men
