If Jesus was alive today, we would kill him with lethal injection. I call that progress. We would have to kill him for the same reason he was killed the first time. His ideas are just too liberal. Kurt Vonnegut More Quotes by Kurt Vonnegut More Quotes From Kurt Vonnegut For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes (Matthew 5). But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course, that's Moses, not Jesus. I haven't heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. "Blessed are the merciful" in a courtroom? "Blessed are the peacemakers" in the Pentagon? Give me a break! Kurt Vonnegut blessedchristianjesus True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country. Kurt Vonnegut runningfunnycountry It's a terrible waste to be happy and not notice it. Kurt Vonnegut wasteterrible There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president. Kurt Vonnegut donepresidentnuts We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. Kurt Vonnegut wisdomhappinesslife Practice any art, music, singing, dancing, acting, drawing, painting, sculpting, poetry, fiction, essays, reportage, no matter how well or badly, not to get money and fame, but to experience becoming, to find out what's inside you, to make your soul grow. Kurt Vonnegut workmotivationalart The secret to success in any human endeavor is total concentration. Kurt Vonnegut endeavorconcentrationsecret You meet saints everywhere. They can be anywhere. They are people behaving decently in an indecent society. Kurt Vonnegut saintpeople Unannounced changes in life's itinerary are like dancing lessons from God. Kurt Vonnegut life-changinglessonsdancing While on the subject of burning books, I want to congratulate librarians, not famous for their physical strength, who, all over this country, have staunchly resisted anti-democratic bullies who have tried to remove certain books from their shelves, and destroyed records rather than have to reveal to thought police the names of persons who have checked out those titles. So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House, the Supreme Court, the Senate, the House of Representatives, or the media. The America I loved still exists at the front desks of our public libraries. Kurt Vonnegut namescountrybook Kilgore Trout once wrote a short story which was a dialogue between two pieces of yeast. They were discussing the possible purposes of life as they ate sugar and suffocated in their own excrement. Because of their limited intelligence, they never came close to guessing that they were making champagne. Kurt Vonnegut troutpurposetwo And I asked myself about the present: how wide it was, how deep it was, how much was mine to keep. Kurt Vonnegut slaughterhouse-5slaughterhouse-fivehealing Everything is nothing, with a twist. Kurt Vonnegut twists I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center. Kurt Vonnegut standing-on-the-edgekindwant I don't know what's going on, and I'm probably not smart enough to understand if somebody was to explain it to me. All I know is we're being tested somehow, by somebody or some thing a whole lot smarter than us, and all I can do is be friendly and keep calm and try and have a nice time till it's over. Kurt Vonnegut smartnicetime Nietzsche had a little one-liner on how to choose a wife. He said, ''Are you willing to have a conversation with this woman for the next forty years?'' That's how to pick a wife. Kurt Vonnegut wifelittlesyears Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. Kurt Vonnegut teenagereducationinspirational Well here you are, there it is, THIS is what it's all about. Kurt Vonnegut wellslife Hate, in the long run, is about as nourishing as cyanide. Kurt Vonnegut haterunninglong Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. Kurt Vonnegut usepeoplethinking
