If the hoods don't get you, the monoxide will. Tom Lehrer More Quotes by Tom Lehrer More Quotes From Tom Lehrer Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it. Tom Lehrer music play life As for language, almost everything goes now. That is not to say that verbal taboos have disappeared, but merely that they have shifted somewhat. In my youth, for example, there were certain words you couldn't say in front of a girl; now you can say them, but you can't say 'girl'. Tom Lehrer youth girl example I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up. Tom Lehrer communication humor funny When correctly viewed, everything is lewd. Tom Lehrer Disclaimer: If anyone disagrees with anything I say, I am quite prepared to not only retract it, but also to deny under oath I ever said it. Tom Lehrer preparation humorous profound Alas, irreverence has been subsumed by mere grossness, at least in the so-called mass media. What we have now - to quote myself at my most pretentious - is a nimiety of scurrility with a concomitant exiguity of taste. Tom Lehrer media funny television Plagiarize! Tom Lehrer eye research men Bad weather always looks worse through a window. Tom Lehrer rainy-day weather looks I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! Tom Lehrer sarcastic cute-love funny Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize. Tom Lehrer henry-kissinger satire political Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet. Tom Lehrer prophet worst Some of you may have met mathematicians and wondered how they got that way. Tom Lehrer may science way Irreverence is easy - whats hard is wit. Tom Lehrer wit irreverence easy I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. Tom Lehrer puppeteer want On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away. Tom Lehrer income three blind One of the problems I see with these comics on television, particularly cable television, is, since you can say anything in terms of sex and scatological references and so on, therefore, you should do it. So they all limit themselves to these subjects and this vocabulary. My objection is that it is a lack of articulateness. Irreverence is easy, but what is hard is wit. Wit is what these comedians lack. Tom Lehrer comedian vocabulary sex Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department. Tom Lehrer who-cares song science It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years. Tom Lehrer age two years Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play? Tom Lehrer enjoy play "Life is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it." It's always seemed to me that this is precisely the sort of dynamic, positive thinking that we so desperately need today in these trying times of crisis and universal brouhaha. Tom Lehrer positive-thinking life-is-like trying
