If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between this image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstances, write it down. Fran Lebowitz More Quotes by Fran Lebowitz More Quotes From Fran Lebowitz Now the culture is made of old things, it's a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life. Fran Lebowitz old-thingscultureart If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better. Fran Lebowitz veniceifs I hate writing. I will do anything to avoid it. The only way I could write less was if I was dead. Fran Lebowitz Polite conversation is rarely either. Fran Lebowitz wittyinspirationalfunny Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat. Fran Lebowitz funnychildrencheating Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back. Fran Lebowitz literaturewantfirsts If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct. Fran Lebowitz seriousliteraturechildren In the Soviet Union, capitalism triumphed over communism. In this country, capitalism triumphed over democracy. Fran Lebowitz democracyliteraturecountry Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. Fran Lebowitz growing-upstarschildren If food did not exist it would be well-nigh impossible to get certain types off the phone, as one would be unable to say, 'Look, I've got to run but let's have dinner sometime soon.' Fran Lebowitz dinnerphonesrunning No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. Fran Lebowitz petdoganimal The best fame is a writer's fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat. Fran Lebowitz tablesfamewriting Sleep is death without the responsibility. Fran Lebowitz responsibilitysleep Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz wittylifefunny Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat. Fran Lebowitz cuttingvegetablesfood Communism requires of its adherents that they arise early and participate in a strenuous round of calisthenics. To someone who wishes that cigarettes came already lit the thought of such exertion at an hour when decent people are just nodding off is thoroughly abhorrent. Fran Lebowitz abhorrentwishpeople Writers have problems writing sex scenes, because writing one really well is pornography. Fran Lebowitz problemwritingsex Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. It makes growing up genuinely worthwhile. I am quite well aware of the hazards of smoking. Smoking is not a healthful pastime, it is true. Smoking is indeed no bracing dip in the ocean, no strenuous series of calisthenics, no two laps around the reservoir. On the other hand, smoking has to its advantage the fact that is a quiet pursuit. Smoking is, in effect a dignified sport. Fran Lebowitz growing-upfunsports If thine enemy offend thee, give his child a drum. Fran Lebowitz givingchildrenenemy American women think that clothes fit them if they can fit into them. But that's not at all what fit means. Fran Lebowitz clothesmeanthinking
