If you know two languages, the level of your intelligence Bill Cosby More Quotes by Bill Cosby More Quotes From Bill Cosby The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath. Bill Cosby paddling ducks secret I'm going out... because I deserve to go out! And I'm going to get drunk... because I deserve to get drunk! And get out of my way! Bill Cosby drunk going-out way A Hoyo de Monterrey double corona is my favourite Cuban since Desi Arnaz. Bill Cosby cuban cigar cuban-cigars There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein. Bill Cosby men two believe People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often. Bill Cosby use graduation people Every success story has a parent who says, 'over my dead body.' Every success story has an old person who walks up to you and says, when you're acting the fool, 'you know I worry about you sometimes.' Bill Cosby acting parent worry Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?" Bill Cosby humor funny fall "And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that. Bill Cosby tired mother funny If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb. Bill Cosby parent age children My mother comes in my room and says, "Just look at this mess! This is a pig sty!" Now, I've already been in the room five hours, and she wants me to LOOK at it. Bill Cosby humor mother funny My wife was a beautiful woman before we had children. Bill Cosby beautiful funny children When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!" Bill Cosby funny father children The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic. Bill Cosby childhood essence play I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child's behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap. Bill Cosby psychology mean children I've got a Ferrari. VROOM! I do 104 from the garage to the front door. Bill Cosby garage ferrari doors People should fact check. People shouldn’t have to go through that and shouldn’t answer to innuendos. Bill Cosby answers facts people I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty,” I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: “It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring. Bill Cosby grandmother glasses drinking Have you ever had a cookie? Then you won't get any here either. Bill Cosby cookies The most important educational vehicle in all life is a parent figure. Bill Cosby educational parent important What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. Bill Cosby grandmother inspirational children
