If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain Between us, we cover all knowledge; he knows all that can be known and I know the rest. Mark Twain knownknowsknowledge for business reasons, I must preserve the outward signs of sanity. Mark Twain sanitypreservesreason Optimist: day dreamer more elegantly spelled. Mark Twain dreameroptimismoptimistic Explaining humor is a lot like dissecting a frog, you learn a lot in the process, but in the end you kill it. Mark Twain frogsendsprocess It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions. Heaven is by favor; if it were by merit your dog would go in and you would stay out. Of all the creatures ever made he (man) is the most detestable. Of the entire brood, he is the only one...that possesses malice. He is the only creature that inflicts pain for sport, knowing it to be pain. The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot. Mark Twain paindogsports Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? Mark Twain cleverwittyfunny But who prays for Satan? Who in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most, our one fellow and brother who most needed a friend yet had not a single one, the one sinner among us all who had the highest and clearest right to every Christian's daily and nightly prayers, for the plain and unassailable reason that his was the first and greatest need, he being among sinners the supremest? Mark Twain brotherprayerchristian We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of nations that have arisen and flourished and vanished from it. Mathematics alone would occupy me eight million years. Mark Twain eightmathscience Senator: Person who makes laws in Washington when not doing time. Mark Twain senatorspersonslaw The face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book- a book that was a dead language to the uneducated passenger, but which told its mind to me without reserve, delivering its most cherished secrets as clearly as if it uttered them with a voice. And it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day. Mark Twain voicewaterbook Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it. Mark Twain good-lifecancerpositive-thinking Irreverence is the champion of liberty and its only sure defense. Mark Twain championlibertyfreedom I've lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened. Mark Twain inspirationallifefunny All men are ignorant, just on different subjects. Mark Twain ignorantdifferentmen All schools, all colleges, have two great functions: to confer, and to conceal, valuable knowledge. The theological knowledge which they conceal cannot justly be regarded as less valuable than that which they reveal. That is, when a man is buying a basket of strawberries it can profit him to know that the bottom half of it is rotten. Mark Twain educationalreligiousschool No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature is in session. Mark Twain trustfreedomlife Thunder is good, thunder is impressive; but it is lightning that does the work. Mark Twain workinspirationallife The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that's what an army is--a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. But a mob without any MAN at the head of it is BENEATH pitifulness. Mark Twain armyfightingmen We have to keep our God placated with prayer, and even then we are never sure of him-how much higher and finer is the Indian's God...Our illogical God is all-powerful in name, but impotent in fact; the Great Spirit is not all-powerful, but does the very best he can for his injun and does it free of charge Mark Twain powerfulreligiousprayer A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way. Mark Twain educationlifefunny
