If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library. Frank Zappa More Quotes by Frank Zappa More Quotes From Frank Zappa The kerosene record player is not a very efficient device. Frank Zappa dense records player If lyrics make people do things, how come we don't love each other? Frank Zappa speech love people It's raw, unbridled superstition for these people to claim that words can harm you. Frank Zappa superstitions claims people I detest 'love lyrics.' I think one of the causes of bad mental health in the United States is that people have been raised on 'love lyrics. Frank Zappa valentines-day love thinking In order to deviate successfully, one has to have at least a passing acquaintance with whatever norm one expects to deviate from. Frank Zappa norm passing order I'm the best you can get. Have you guessed me yet? I'm the slime oozin' out from your TV set! Frank Zappa slime tvs Tosses her head and flips her hair, she got a whole bunch of nothing in there. Frank Zappa media hair art I want a girl that can swallow my pride. Frank Zappa girl pride want It's two o'clock in the morning, they're not going to get any nooky anyway, so this one guy and the guy with the t-shirt guy started sniffing the girls panties. Frank Zappa girl morning two Jazz is the music of unemployment. Frank Zappa unemployment jazz I want a horny little Jewish princess. Frank Zappa horny princess want I'm just one of these unpopular musicians. Frank Zappa just-one musician Beauty is a pair of shoes that makes you wanna die. Frank Zappa pair-of-shoes pairs shoes You can't be a real country unless you have a beer. Frank Zappa real drinking country . . . behind each breakaway movement is a breakaway demagogue who will set up his breakaway demagogue government. Frank Zappa behinds movement government Don't go to bed with any woman crazier than you are. Frank Zappa mental-illness bed depression Just be glad you don't live in one of those little countries where at this very moment, music is severely restricted, or as it is in Iran, totally illegal. Frank Zappa iran politics country Our big prize tonight is fifty American dollars to the girl with the most exciting mammalian protuberances. Frank Zappa dollars tonight girl I think pop music has done more for oral intercourse than anything else that has ever happened, and vice versa. Frank Zappa vices done thinking The thing about drugs is this ... the Libertarians kind of have the right idea on this: Basically, their theory is that you own your own body, and the government should get out of your face. But, you also do not have the right to harm other people or to impinge on their rights or space. So, let's apply that to drugs . If you want to get wrecked, and you could afford it, and you have a place to do it where the results of your behavior can't harm another person, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be allowed to do it. Frank Zappa government space rights