In Washington, officials from the National Rifle Association met with a group of high school students. There were no survivors. Tina Fey More Quotes by Tina Fey More Quotes From Tina Fey Every kid has something they're good at, that you hope they find and gravitate toward. Tina Fey learning kids school I think someone should design exercise machines that reward people with sex at the end of their workouts, because people will perform superhuman feats for even the faint hope of that. Tina Fey workout funny sex Quentin Tarantino is here, star of all my sexual nightmares. Tina Fey tarantino nightmare stars An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job? Tina Fey humor jobs funny Confidence is 10 percent hard work and 90 percent delusion, just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do Tina Fey hard-work want thinking Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of. Tina Fey gay witty thinking If you want to make an audience laugh, you dress a man up like an old lady and push her down the stairs. If you want to make comedy writers laugh, you push an actual old lady down the stairs. Tina Fey humor men funny Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity. Tina Fey trying laughing people Whitney Houston’s cover of “I Will Always Love You” was constantly on my FM Walkman radio around that time. I think that made me cry because I associated it with absolutely no one. Tina Fey love-you witty thinking I was a little excited but mostly blorft. "Blorft" is an adjective I just made up that means 'Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.' I have been blorft every day for the past seven years. Tina Fey stress witty mean I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey. Tina Fey fey humor funny I have no affinity for animals. I don’t hate animals and I would never hurt an animal; I just don’t actively care about them. When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst. Tina Fey hurt dog cute I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math. Tina Fey struggle inspirational funny In my experience, the hardest thing about having someone "come out" to you is the "pretending to be surprised" part. Tina Fey pretending hardest-thing hardest For my first show at 'SNL', I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn't getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, 'Okay, that happened, and I did not die.' You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it. Tina Fey bills inspirational laughing The New York Post quoted Senator Hillary Clinton saying that she would never run for President, declaring "That is not something I'm going to be doing. "Which in Clinton talk means "I will be President in three years. Tina Fey new-york running mean The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling. Tina Fey kim athlete struggle I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, 'Well, they get pie. It's not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.' I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad. Tina Fey weekend pie thinking There are a couple of things I want to impart to ladies who want to be in comedy: One, you don’t have to be weird or be quirky to get your job done. And two, comedy skill is not sexually transmittable. You do not have to sleep with a comedian to learn what you’re doing. Male comedians will not like that advice, but it is the truth. Tina Fey couple sleep jobs You can’t be that kid standing at the top of the waterslide, overthinking it. You have to go down the chute. Tina Fey strong-women funny-inspirational witty
