It looked something like a pen wiper and something like a piece of hearth-rug. A second and keener inspection revealed it as a Pekinese puppy. P. G. Wodehouse More Quotes by P. G. Wodehouse More Quotes From P. G. Wodehouse He had the look of one who had drunk the cup of life and found a dead beetle at the bottom. P. G. Wodehouse cupsdrunklooks A certain critic -- for such men, I regret to say, do exist -- made the nasty remark about my last novel that it contained 'all the old Wodehouse characters under different names.' He has probably by now been eaten by bears, like the children who made mock of the prophet Elisha: but if he still survives he will not be able to make a similar charge against Summer Lightning. With my superior intelligence, I have out-generalled the man this time by putting in all the old Wodehouse characters under the same names. Pretty silly it will make him feel, I rather fancy. P. G. Wodehouse regretsummerchildren One of the Georges - I forget which - once said that a certain number of hours´ sleep each night - I cannot recall at the moment how many - made a man something which for the time being has slipped my memory. P. G. Wodehouse sleepnightmemories I was writing a story, 'The Artistic Career of Corky,' about two young men, Bertie Wooster and his friend Corky, getting into a lot of trouble, and neither of them had brains enough to get out of the trouble. I thought: Well, how can I get them out? And I thought: Suppose one of them had an omniscient valet? P. G. Wodehouse careerswritingmen What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them? P. G. Wodehouse yieldcitiestemptation Oh, I don't know, you know, don't you know? P. G. Wodehouse knows Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels. P. G. Wodehouse laddershumorouswriting I am told by those who know that there are six varieties of hangover-the Broken Compass, the Sewing Machine, the Comet, the Atomic, the Cement Mixer and the Gremlin Boogie, and his manner suggested that he had got them all. P. G. Wodehouse hangovermachinesbroken It is fatal to let any dog know that he is funny, for he immediately loses his head and starts hamming it up. P. G. Wodehouse dogknowsfunny It was loud in spots and less loud in other spots, and it had that quality which I have noticed in all violin solos of seeming to last much longer than it actually did. P. G. Wodehouse violinqualitylasts Chumps always make the best husbands. When you marry, Sally, grab a chump. Tap his head first, and if it rings solid, don't hesitate. All the unhappy marriages come from husbands having brains. What good are brains to a man? They only unsettle him. P. G. Wodehouse husbandbrainmen Golf, like the measles, should be caught young, for, if postponed to riper years, the results may be serious. P. G. Wodehouse seriousgolfyears That is life. Just one long succession of misunderstandings and rash acts and what not. Absolutely. P. G. Wodehouse successionjust-onelong Do you ever get moods when life seems absolutely meaningless? It's like a badly-constructed story, with all sorts of characters moving in and out who have nothing to do with the plot. And when somebody comes along that you think really has something to do with the plot, he suddenly drops out. After a while you begin to wonder what the story is about, and you feel that it's about nothing—just a jumble. P. G. Wodehouse charactermovingthinking Love has had a lot of press-agenting from the oldest times; but there are higher, nobler things than love. P. G. Wodehouse presseshigher Half a league Half a league Half a league onward With a hey-nonny-nonny And a hot cha-cha. P. G. Wodehouse heyleaguehot It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them. P. G. Wodehouse humoroussorrylife I believe the only way a writer can keep himself up to the mark is by examining each story quite coldly before he starts writing it and asking himself if it is all right as a story. I mean, once you go saying to yourself, 'This is a pretty weak plot as it stands, but I'm such a hell of a writer that my magic touch will make it okay,' you're sunk. If they aren't in interesting situations, characters can't be major characters, not even if you have the rest of the troop talk their heads off about them. P. G. Wodehouse charactermeanbelieve He's like one of those weird birds in India who dissolve themselves into thin air and nip through space in a sort of disembodied way and assemble the parts again just where they want them. I've got a cousin who's what they call a Theosophist, and he says he's often nearly worked the thing himself, but couldn't quite bring it off, probably owing to having fed in his boyhood on the flesh of animals slain in anger and pie. P. G. Wodehouse cousinairanimal If you could call the thing a horse. If it hadn't shown a flash of speed in the straight, it would have got mixed up with the next race. P. G. Wodehouse horsenextrace
