It's a lot like life. I think 99 percent of what goes on in life,... by Andy Van Slyke

It's a lot like life. I think 99 percent of what goes on in life, we have very little control over.

Andy Van Slyke

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I have an Alka-Seltzer bat. You know-plop, plop, fizz, fizz, when the pitcher sees me walking up there he says, 'Oh, what a relief it is'.

relief bats baseball

My biggest problem in the big leagues is that I can't figure out how to spend forty-three dollars in meal money.

dollars meals league

The game is full of peaks and valleys, the key is to avoid the Gr... by Andy Van Slyke

The game is full of peaks and valleys, the key is to avoid the Grand Canyon.

valleys keys games

If someone from Germany or somewhere, who had no idea what baseball was, saw Kruk play, he'd wonder what the beer truck driver was doing playing first base.

baseball beer sports

We had an argument once, yeah. It was the best thing that could have happened to our working relationship. After that, we understood each other and got along much better. I always respected Barry Bonds, and I wanted to let him know that I did in a certain way.

argument sports way

They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brook... by Andy Van Slyke

They wanted me to play third like Brooks so I did play like Brooks - Mel Brooks.

brooks play sports

He (Ozzie Smith) plays like he's on a mini-trampoline or wearing... by Andy Van Slyke

He (Ozzie Smith) plays like he's on a mini-trampoline or wearing helium kangaroo shorts.

kangaroos trampolines play

Good mothers are underrated, just like good defense. by Andy Van Slyke

Good mothers are underrated, just like good defense.

good-mother defense mother

Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to d... by Andy Van Slyke

Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon.

psychology trying sports

With the Cardinals everybody would be reading the business section to see what their stocks were doing. You get to this locker room (Pirates) in the morning and everybody is looking at the sports page to see if Hulk Hogan won.

reading morning sports

If everyone were like him (Mitch Williams) I wouldn't play. I'd f... by Andy Van Slyke

If everyone were like him (Mitch Williams) I wouldn't play. I'd find a safer way to make a living.

ifs play way

Mario Lemieux is Mr. Pittsburgh. by Andy Van Slyke

Mario Lemieux is Mr. Pittsburgh.

mario pittsburgh nhl

Last year we had so many people coming in and out they didn't bother to sew their names on the backs of the uniforms. They just put them there with Velcro.

names sports years

The biggest adjustment from the minors was learning to spend $45... by Andy Van Slyke

The biggest adjustment from the minors was learning to spend $45 in meal money.

adjustment minors meals

I can only guess that, for guys in their 30s and 40s who watched me play, they understood that the score never mattered and my paycheck never mattered (in relation) to how I played. I played with Little League enthusiasm and professional flair. That's what fans are really looking for.

league play sports

It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game. by Andy Van Slyke

It seems like Satan has thrown the DH into our game.

gamer games sports

Who says there's an unemployment problem in this country? Just take the five percent unemployed and give them a baseball stat to follow.

baseball giving country

I always respected Barry Bonds, and I wanted to let him know that... by Andy Van Slyke

I always respected Barry Bonds, and I wanted to let him know that I did in a certain way.

certain wanted way

I don't care what you do - baseball or politics - George W. Bush is always going to be compared to his father. I just want it to be an easy answer in 50 years - Who was the better player, me, or my kids? I want it to be my kids.

baseball father kids