It's just, you can get very complacent if you do the same thing all the time and especially the comedian, it gives me you know different things to react to and respond to, and it stimulates me. Ellen DeGeneres More Quotes by Ellen DeGeneres More Quotes From Ellen DeGeneres Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks. Ellen DeGeneres lines decision people There are all sorts of books offering advice on how to deal with life-threatening situations, but where's the advice on dealing with embarrassing ones? Ellen DeGeneres offering advice book Actually this is really funny - one time she accidentally forgot to leave a note and I had no idea she had even moved. I was living in the house with a beautiful Mexican family for three months before I realized they weren't my cousins visiting from out of town. They were so nice. They called me "Quien es, quien es," which I thought was a beautiful name. Ellen DeGeneres cousin nice beautiful Answers to Frequently Asked Questions: Yes. Yes. No. One time in high school. Three times in my twenties. Rocks no salt. Yes. Four. Never. And how dare you! I will take no further questions. Ellen DeGeneres rocks twenties school It's funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source. Ellen DeGeneres juice cucumbers water I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before. Ellen DeGeneres humor baby funny Start thinking positively. You will notice a difference. Instead of 'I think I'm a loser,' try 'I definitely am a loser.' Stop being wishy-washy about things! How much more of a loser can you be if you don't even know you are one? Either you are a loser or you are not. Which is it, stupid? Ellen DeGeneres positivity stupid thinking Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot. Ellen DeGeneres music song thinking You know, radio DJ's must really love to talk to theirselves. Especially when they have the graveyard shift. 'Hey this is Ellen with 89.1. It is currently three in the morning. There are few cars on the road. And it your still listening heres a little music to get you to dance. Ellen DeGeneres car listening morning If we don’t want to define ourselves by things as superficial as our appearances, we’re stuck with the revolting alternative of being judged by our actions. Ellen DeGeneres our-actions alternatives want Procrastinate now, don't put it off. Ellen DeGeneres procrastination life funny Trying to get the talk show, looking back on it, we had to beg a lot of station managers to pick up the show because people thought no one would watch it because I'm openly gay. Ellen DeGeneres gay trying people It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves. Ellen DeGeneres helping people thinking People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house. Ellen DeGeneres glasses children people I've moved about 10 times over the past 15 years. I don't move for the sole purpose of getting rid of stuff. I'm not crazy. I also move so that I never have to wash any windows. Ellen DeGeneres crazy past moving I think there's too much mult-tasking going on. I think people need to quiet down and focus and be still more. Ellen DeGeneres focus people thinking Haiku sounds like I'm Saying hi to someone named Ku. Hi, Ku. Hello. Ellen DeGeneres saying-hi hello sound Leaning forward in your chair when someone is trying to squeeze behind you isn't enough. You also have to move the chair. Ellen DeGeneres behind-you trying moving I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so it's pretty equal. I don't know why that is. It's been the same thing for a while. It's hard for female comedians to stand out. That's weird. That's a shame. Ellen DeGeneres comedian guy trying I know that every time I list something that I am, I am potentially alienating a whole group of people. Publicists and managers will encourage you not to say what political party you belong to, what you eat, what you don't eat, who you sleep with and all that stuff. Ellen DeGeneres party sleep people
