Julieanne Smolinksi has a history in rock journalism and she's a huge rock 'n' roll fan, and she was a huge fan of Ava (Elaine Hendrix) and Gigi (Elizabeth Gillies) and of the actresses. I was really lucky to get her, in between seasons on Grace and Frankie.

Denis Leary

Categorized in : Grace Fans Rocks

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

Denis Leary

powerful hate son

Is it possible to get a cup of coffee-flavored coffee anymore in this country? What happened with coffee? Did I miss a meeting? They have every other flavor but coffee-flavored coffee. They have mochaccino, frappaccino, cappuccino, al pacino...Coffee doesn't need a menu, it needs a cup.

Denis Leary

coffee missing country

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Denis Leary

crisis character

I'm the enemy. Because I like to think, I like to read. I'm into freedom of speech, the freedom of choice. I'm the kind of guy who likes to sit in a greasy spoon and wonder - "Gee, should I have the T-bone steak or the jumbo rack of BBQ ribs with the side order of gravy fries?" I want high cholesterol. I wanna eat bacon and butter and buskets of cheese, okay? I wanna smoke a Cuban cigar the size of Cincinnati in the non-smoking section. I wanna run through the streets naked with green Jell-O all over my body reading Playboy magazine. Why? Because I suddenly might feel the need to, okay, pal?

Denis Leary

reading running thinking

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Denis Leary

hate humor funny

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Denis Leary

humor funny country

Worrying about tomorrow is the best way to screw up today.

Denis Leary

worry today way

I was reading an interview with Keith Richards in a magazine and in the interview Keith Richards intimated that kids should not do drugs. Keith Richards! Says that kids should not do drugs!

Denis Leary

reading kings jesus

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

Denis Leary

catholic use school

Let me tell you something: I love the Yankees. And let me tell you why: because without the Yankees, there is nobody to hate.

Denis Leary

let-me yankees hate

Sometimes I park in handicap spaces while handicapped people make handicapped faces.

Denis Leary

space evil people

All men hear is blah, blah, blah, blah, SEX, blah, blah, blah, FOOD, blah, blah, blah, BEER.

Denis Leary

beer men sex

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

Denis Leary

firefighter military people

Happy Easter everyone! Jesus dies, comes back from the dead - and we get chocolate eggs. It's like turn-down service from God.

Denis Leary

chocolate-eggs easter jesus

That's why I'm glad Jesus died when he did. Because if he lived to be 40, he would have ended up like Elvis. He was famous already at that point. If he lived to be 40, he'd be walking around Jerusalem with a big fat beer gut and black side burns going, Damn, I'm the son of God. Give me a cheeseburger and french fries right now.

Denis Leary

humor funny jesus

I wanted to get more serialized. I had this idea for an event that would click onto everybody's mortality. I said, "I want somebody to die." Fortunately for me, when I was toying with that idea, John Landgraf, who's the head of FX but also a very smart executive, came up with the idea of the ashes in the maracas. He called me up and said, "Listen, what about this, they get the ashes in a box and when they get them, they shake them and they sound like maracas." And I was like, "Okay, now I've got my throughline."

Denis Leary

smart sound ideas

Stand-up comedy and comedy in general is the ultimate form of free speech, because you get to poke holes in all the pretentious bubbles politicians and pundits and popes and pretenders try to float over our heads.

Denis Leary

comedy speech trying

Everyone's got skeletons in their closet, and I've got a million in mine, believe me. I tested the envelope; I pushed it. Whenever somebody in authority told me not to do something, I did it just to find out why they said not to do it.

Denis Leary

envelopes skeletons believe

If you're over 52 years old and you're on Facebook, do us all a favor and log off now.

Denis Leary

favors ifs years

Nobody can make more fun of me than I already make of myself.

Denis Leary

fun