Life is not about finding yourself. It's mostly about chocolate. T-Shirt Darynda Jones More Quotes by Darynda Jones More Quotes From Darynda Jones That’s the thing about things. They tend to happen. Darynda Jones happens Surely my macking on some guy in an insane asylum wouldn't hurt him. He'd been living with his stalker, for heaven's sake. Darynda Jones guyhurtheaven Cookie dropped her purse and tried to catch it midair. In the process, she knocked over a vase. When she lunged for the vase, she slipped on the tile and overturned an entire table. A lovely handblown piece of glass flew in my direction, and all I could think as I caught it was, Really? Again? We were going to have to practice muscle control. Darynda Jones glassespracticethinking What in the name of Zeus's testicles? Darynda Jones testicleszeusnames Drink coffee! Do stupid things faster and with more energy! Darynda Jones coffeeenergystupid SARC- was my second favorite -ASM word Darynda Jones I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt Darynda Jones inner-demonsfightingsides The dead guy looked at me with wide eyes. “I can’t move my legs.” I snorted. “You can’t move your arms either, or your feet or your freaking eyelids. You’re dead. Darynda Jones eyefeetmoving Have you slept yet?' 'Sure. I took a power nap on the way over.' 'Didn't you drive there?' 'Yeah. Other drviers kept waking me up. Car horns should be illegal.' - Charley & Cookie Darynda Jones waking-me-upcarnaps Where am I going and why am I in this handbasket? ~Bumper sticker~ Darynda Jones I sat with my two best friends, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that only two of us would make it out of there alive. Though I did tend to exaggerate. Darynda Jones two-best-friendsknowingdoubt Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should have gone to Hogwart's when I had the chance. Darynda Jones should-havegonegiving Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. -T-Shirt Darynda Jones funny-lifehilariousargument Did you get checked out?” “Yeah, by a hot blond who sat in the corner of the bar and made googly eyes at me.” “I meant by a doctor.” “No, but a balding yet bizarrely hot paramedic said I’d be fine." “Oh, and he’s an expert?” “At flirting. Darynda Jones flirtingdoctorseye My powers of persuasion are only as strong as the bullshit I have to back it up. - Charley Davidson Darynda Jones persuasionbullshitstrong ―You realize I can hear you without the annoying intercom. Cookie and I both leaned forward and looked at each other through the doorway. ―But this is more fun, I said. ―More Star Trekkie. Darynda Jones cookiesstarsfun My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.” I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.” After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, “You named your breasts?” I turned my back to him with a shrug. “I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much. Darynda Jones appreciatenameslong Insanity does NOT run in my family. It strolls through, takes it's time, and gets to know everyone personally - T-Shirt Darynda Jones doerunninginsanity Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet Darynda Jones tasersfeetpeople What do I look like, the ghost whisperer? They're loony. I'd have better luck talking to my cousin Alfonso's Chihuahua. At least Tía Juana knows Spanish." "Your cousin's Chihuahua is named Tía Juana? Darynda Jones cousinlucktalking
