Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes. Leslie Nielsen More Quotes by Leslie Nielsen More Quotes From Leslie Nielsen Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished. Leslie Nielsen humorepicfunny Doing nothing is very tough to do because you never know when you're finished. The upside is that from the moment you wake up in the morning, you're on the job. Leslie Nielsen wake-upmorningjobs There's an old saying that God exists in your search for him. I just want you to understand that I ain't looking. Leslie Nielsen old-sayinggod-existswant One thing a person won't do when he's laughing is try to beat you up. Leslie Nielsen beatstryinglaughing Truth hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle with the seat missing, but it hurts. Leslie Nielsen truthhurtreality I really have to keep an eye on myself, because sometimes I think I might say something important. Leslie Nielsen importanteyethinking It doesn't really matter where I go (Heaven or Hell). I'll have plenty of friends in both places. Leslie Nielsen hellmatterheaven Are you having problems hearing? If so, those around you already know it. Hearing loss is no laughing matter, so don't be a punchline. Leslie Nielsen matterlosslaughing Yes, it's true, I've been called the Laurence Olivier of spoofs. I guess that would make Laurence Olivier the Leslie Nielsen of Shakespeare. Leslie Nielsen spoofleslie I like my sex the way I play basketball, one on one with as little dribbling as possible. Leslie Nielsen basketballfunnysex I played a lot of leaders, autocratic sorts; perhaps it was my Canadian accent. Leslie Nielsen accentsleader I would love to see what's going to happen with science fiction with peoples' heads, because we still have people running around in the year 2050 or 2100 or 2200 and they have incredible technology and you see the effects: laser beams and rays and beaming down and beaming up. Incredible technical things happening, but everybody is still running around jealous, fighting, whacking, cheating. There's got to be something going on! Some kind of change. I'd like to see something starting to happen in that area, with the psychology of the human being and how that changed. Leslie Nielsen jealousrunningcheating I'm sure that we can handle this situation maturely, just like the responsible adults that we are. Isn't that right, Mr... Poopy Pants? Leslie Nielsen agingpantsadults You know it's very difficult to be an actor, and to have people depending on you to say the right line, at the right time, and to not be able to hear your cues! I can't tell you how many times I would've had to have said What? if I didn't have my hearing aids. So my hearing aids are a life saver, and they allow me to practice my craft. Leslie Nielsen what-ifpracticepeople Like a blind man at an orgy, I was going to have to feel my way through. Leslie Nielsen blindmenway The reason there's a question mark on my front door is just in case I forget my address. Leslie Nielsen addressesdoorsforget Do your part to silence gossip - don't repeat it. Leslie Nielsen repeatsgossipsilence The actual distance a bad golfer is going to hit the ball with any club obviously depends on many factors, not the least of which is whether the ball was actually hit at all. Leslie Nielsen ballsdistancegolf Any sport that comes from Scotland is good! Leslie Nielsen scotlandhockeysports I had to weave and play around with a honey bear, you know, and I could wrestle with him a little bit, but there's no way you can even wrestle a honey bear, let alone a grizzly bear that's standing ten feet to eleven feet tall! Can you imagine? But it was fascinating to work that close to that kind of animal. Leslie Nielsen feetplayanimal
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