Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases. Milton Berle More Quotes by Milton Berle More Quotes From Milton Berle My son gave me a nice bottle of cologne - Eau de Owe. Milton Berle nice christmas son Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one? Milton Berle assessment grades tests Money can't buy you happiness, but it helps you look for it in a lot more places. Milton Berle look you money happiness They've finally comes up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer. Milton Berle up office perfect mistake Now a 'funnyman' can get a laugh before opening his mouth - looking funny. Lou Costello was one of your great funnymen. Harry Langdon, Larry Semon; they were all funnymen - they looked funny. W.C. Fields was never a comedian. Slim Summerville was a comedian, yet looked funny. Now if you have both attributes, you are in good shape. Milton Berle great good you funny Like every comedian, if I heard a joke that I thought would work, I used it. Milton Berle joke thought like work People say I owe a lot to television. The fact is I was a star long before television. What TV made me is unemployed. Milton Berle me long people television I received a lot of complaints from parents who wrote and told me that their kids wouldn't go to sleep until our show was over. So I went on the air and told all the children watching to 'listen to their Uncle Miltie and go to bed right after the show.' Milton Berle parents me sleep children There's a difference between being a comic and a comedian. A comic is a guy who says funny things, and a comedian is a guy who says things funny, and he has a style and point of view that will last much longer. Milton Berle view will style funny I have a file of four million jokes... I have them cross-indexed. Whatever subject you want, I have a joke on it. Milton Berle joke you jokes want
