Men do not settle down. Men surrender. Chris Rock More Quotes by Chris Rock More Quotes From Chris Rock Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do. Chris Rock smart humor funny My mother got sick when I was rich. And my mother, you know … I don’t really want to get into it, but my mother was sicker than my father. And my mother’s alive. My mother’s fine, OK? I remember going to the hospital to see my mother and wondering, ‘Was I in the right place?’ Like, this was a hotel. Like it had a concierge, man. If the average person really knew the discrepancy in the health care system, there’d be riots in the streets, OK? They would burn this m-therf—ker down! Chris Rock mother men father People say, 'Why is he bored with her?' Because he's a human being, that's why; same way his wife is bored with him. That is marriage - anything that's supposed to be forever, your going to get bored with it. And there is nothing wrong with it, so don't take it personal; if you are with somebody for ten years and they are not bored with you? Then something is wrong with them. Chris Rock wife people years So, to say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years. The question is, you know, my kids are smart, educated, beautiful, polite children. There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people. Chris Rock smart beautiful children If you want to prevent abortions, you make sure everyone has health care, a high school education and birth control. Not the exact opposite. Chris Rock abortion opposites school Here's the thing. When we talk about race relations in America or racial progress, it's all nonsense. There are no race relations. White people were crazy. Now they're not as crazy. To say that black people have made progress would be to say they deserve what happened to them before. Chris Rock crazy race white We treat racism in this country like it's a style that America went through. Like flared legs and lava lamps. Oh, that crazy thing we did. We were hanging black people. We treat it like a fad instead of a disease that eradicates millions of people. You've got to get it at a lab, and study it, and see its origins, and see what it's immune to and what breaks it down. Chris Rock crazy country america Pretty girls have problems too. Chris Rock pretty-girl girl problem I was raised to believe that you had to do things better than white people in order to succeed. The old black shows were better than the white shows. "The Jeffersons" (1975) was a lot better. "Good Times" (1974) was way funnier. "Sanford and Son" (1972). Now, though, everyone thinks we're equal, so we submit the same shit that everyone else submits. And then we get mad when they won't air it. You got to go back to the old attitude of it has to be twice as good. Chris Rock attitude believe son One of my daughters told me the other day, "Kevin Hart is funnier than you, Daddy." I told her, "Does Kevin Hart make you pancakes?" Chris Rock daddy daughter doe If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner. Chris Rock cleaners clean rooms I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either. Chris Rock curse careful mother Just to be clear, Ray Rice was not fired for beating his wife. He was fired because a video of him beating his wife was released. Chris Rock rays video wife Relationships, easy to get into, hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? Because it’s hard to keep up the lie! ‘Cause you can’t get nobody being you. You got to lie to get somebody. You can’t get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative! Chris Rock acting sound lying Comedy is the blues for people who can’t sing. Chris Rock humor funny people So if you're black or brown, you can make money in America, you can get rich in America... but whatever you decide to do, it better be positive, 'cause if one person is harmed, you will be destroyed. You see Oprah, she just be giving away money. She's doing that to keep the Feds off her back. Chris Rock humor funny america I literally don't know what I'm going to do next. That's successful. Chris Rock next successful knows There are people who would like to get rid of minimum wage. But we have to have it, because if we didn't some people would not get paid money. They would work all week for two loaves of bread and some Spam. Chris Rock humor funny two Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else. Chris Rock gay humor funny You can never make a woman happy, it's impossible. I've never met a happy woman in my life. They're always complaining about something. Chris Rock mets complaining impossible
