My earliest childhood memory was watching my parents loosen the wheels on my stroller. Joan Rivers More Quotes by Joan Rivers More Quotes From Joan Rivers Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television. Joan Rivers fashion thank-you country I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware. Joan Rivers comedian memorable laughing A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon. Joan Rivers hot memorable children After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body. Joan Rivers dating pieces body My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn. Joan Rivers holiday fashion faces In every human endeavor, persistence is everything. Joan Rivers endeavor persistence perseverance Never floss with a stranger. Joan Rivers stranger life funny I am furious about everything. Joan Rivers furious Life is so tough. I don't know how old you are, but I've seen so much in a wink. One phone call and your life is changed forever. We all know that. You better laugh at everything. Joan Rivers phones forever laughing Edgar had a heart attack, and I'm to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head. Joan Rivers bags making-love heart Remember a few years ago when they left Bea Arthur out of the death reel at the Oscars? Bea Arthur! How did they leave Bea Arthur out? She was in Mame; she was in All in the Family; she was in Maude; she was a Golden Girl, for God's sake! Bea was not only one of Hollywood's leading ladies, she was one of Hollywood's leading men! Joan Rivers girl men years I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge. Joan Rivers aging want life Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs. Joan Rivers finals powerful air I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. Joan Rivers regret humor done My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy. Joan Rivers groups humor funny The Palestinians cannot throw rockets and expect people not to defend themselves Joan Rivers rockets palestinian people Don’t worry about the money. Love the process. Joan Rivers process worry Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog. Joan Rivers true-friend dog love-you Life is very tough. If you don't laugh, it's tough. Joan Rivers beloved memorable laughing When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time. Joan Rivers car doors years
