My first instinct was, 'Of course not.' And I thought about it overnight and I thought, 'You know, that's an interesting proposition,' he's the only artist I could conceive of curating because his masterpieces, all in Canada, are known, they're unknown in America and I happen to have a love of him.

Steve Martin

Categorized in : Entertainment

Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.

music humor funny

I believe the United States should allow all foreigners in this country, provided they can speak our native language... Apache.

native-language believe country

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but... by Steve Martin

I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.

yesterday today firsts

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not... by Steve Martin

Some people have a way with words, and other people...oh, uh, not have way.

humor people way

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture. by Steve Martin

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.

music dance funny

Be so good they can't ignore you. by Steve Martin

Be so good they can't ignore you.

inspirational life funny

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars by Steve Martin

How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars

inspirational life funny

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. by Steve Martin

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself.

humor inspiration funny

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them.

stupid funny believe

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent. by Steve Martin

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent.

perseverance inspirational funny

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's... by Steve Martin

All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

week honest pay

Teaching is, after all, a form of show business. by Steve Martin

Teaching is, after all, a form of show business.

form teaching shows

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. by Steve Martin

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

laughter witty funny

If you've got a dollar and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've got 71 cents left; But if you've got seventeen grand and you spend 29 cents on a loaf of bread, you've still got seventeen grand. There's a math lesson for you.

dollars money math

A father carries pictures where his money used to be. by Steve Martin

A father carries pictures where his money used to be.

fathers-day dad baby

You know, a lot of people come to me and they say, "Steve, how can you be so fucking funny?" There's a secret to it, it's no big deal. Before I go out, I put a slice of bologna in each of my shoes. So when I'm on stage, I feel funny.

shoes secret people

I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their l... by Steve Martin

I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart.

smell legs littles

I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too.

dog inspirational funny

Despite a lack of natural ability, I did have the one element necessary to all early creativity: naïveté, that fabulous quality that keeps you from knowing just how unsuited you are for what you are about to do.

creativity funny art

I was always very shy but as I get older I think, What am I being shy for? You just grow weary of your own hang-ups.

grows shy thinking