Nietsche is Pietsche." by Ogden Nash

Nietsche is Pietsche."

Ogden Nash

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Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you.

friday birthday funny

The door of a bigoted mind opens outwards so that the only result of the pressure of facts upon it is to close it more snugly.

pressure mind doors

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave... by Ogden Nash

I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned.

humor men funny

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that... by Ogden Nash

Some tortures are physical And some are mental, But the one that is both Is dental.

dental-work teeth funny

Time is so old and love so brief, love is pure gold and time a thief. We're late, darling, we're late, The curtain descends, everything ends, too soon, too soon.

and-love gold love-is

So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat by Ogden Nash

So I hope husbands and wives will continue to debate and combat

wife husband believe

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up. by Ogden Nash

Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up.

marriage inspirational life

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them.

funny-birthday marriage relationship

Among other things I think humor is a shield, a weapon, a survival kit. So here we are several billion of us, crowded into our global concentration camp for the duration. How are we to survive? Solemnity is not the answer, any more than witless and irresponsible frivolity is. I think our best chance lies in humor, which in this case means a wry acceptance of our predicament. We don't have to like it but we can at least recognize its ridiculous aspects, one of which is ourselves.

acceptance mean lying

There was a young man of Herne Bay by Ogden Nash

There was a young man of Herne Bay

smoking men funny

Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind. by Ogden Nash

Remorse is violent dyspepsia of the mind.

remorse violent mind

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too lon... by Ogden Nash

Progress might have been all right once, but it's gone on too long.

progress gone long

I think that I shall never see by Ogden Nash

I think that I shall never see

inspiration fall thinking

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money... by Ogden Nash

If you don't want to work, you have to work to earn enough money so that you won't have to work.

crazy money funny

Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun... by Ogden Nash

Some debts are fun while you are acquiring them, But none are fun when you set about retiring them.

debt-free owing-a-debt fun

There has been a lot of progress during my lifetime, but I'm afraid it's heading in the wrong direction.

headings progress lifetime

One thing that literature would be greatly the better for by Ogden Nash

One thing that literature would be greatly the better for

employment literature would-be

There is something about a martini, Ere the dining and dancing begin, And to tell you the truth, It is not the vermouth- I think that perhaps it's the gin.

dancing truth thinking

The truth I do not stretch or shove by Ogden Nash

The truth I do not stretch or shove

tests states dog

I drink because she nags, she said I nag because he drinks. But if the truth be known to you, He's a lush and she's a shrew.

shrews truth-is drinking