not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals. Erma Bombeck More Quotes by Erma Bombeck More Quotes From Erma Bombeck I read one psychologist's theory that said, "Never strike a child in your anger." When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he's recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday? Erma Bombeck sundayfamilychildren Housework can kill you if done right. Erma Bombeck donedrinkingwork It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture. Erma Bombeck furniturefunnymoving How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? Erma Bombeck literaturegoes-onnext-week Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on. Erma Bombeck twochildrenideas When you look like your passport photo, it's time to go home. Erma Bombeck humorhometravel Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone? Erma Bombeck inspirationalfunnytravel Kids have little computer bodies with disks that store information. They remember who had to do the dishes the last time you had spaghetti, who lost the knob off the TV set six years ago, who got punished for teasing the dog when he wasn't teasing the dog and who had to wear girls boots the last time it snowed. Erma Bombeck girldogkids Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. Erma Bombeck keep-tryingspiritualtrying A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween. Erma Bombeck halloweenfunrelationship When humor go's, there go's civilization. Erma Bombeck sense-of-humorcivilization When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies. Erma Bombeck tough-timeschocolatenaps Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub. Erma Bombeck agedogtwo I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes. Erma Bombeck clothesrealizinglucky I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill. Erma Bombeck skiinghillssports I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along. Erma Bombeck fatteningscientistworry A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight. Erma Bombeck grandparentmidnightbaby No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. Erma Bombeck womenmotivationsleep If I had my life to live over I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage. Erma Bombeck storageburnedrose My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. Erma Bombeck carfunnykids
