Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in. Dennis Miller More Quotes by Dennis Miller More Quotes From Dennis Miller A new poll shows that Senator Kerry's support in the South is strongest amongst blacks. Kerry's appeal to Southern blacks is obvious. He is a white man who lives far, far away. Dennis Miller humor men funny It's ironic that in our culture everyone's biggest complaint is about not having enough time; yet nothing terrifies us more than the thought of eternity. Dennis Miller enough-time ironic scary I'm a comedian, for God's sake. Viewers shouldn't trust me. And you know what? They're hip enough to know they shouldn't trust me. I'm just doing stand-up comedy. Dennis Miller comedian trust hips I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years. Dennis Miller fun jobs sports Even the best psychiatrist is like a blindfolded auto mechanic poking around under your hood with a giant foam "We're #1" finger. Dennis Miller foam mechanic giants Pat Buchanan is so homo-phobic, he blames global warming on the AIDS quilt. Dennis Miller global-warming quilts blame Most Americans will let liberals and conservatives play their games because most Americans don't pay attention. Dennis Miller games play attention The claim that somehow raw foods give you better energy, are more healthful, improve your immune system and all of that is simply not substantiated. And moreover, it's not biologically plausible. Dennis Miller energy claims giving We are simultaneously the most hated, loved, feared and admired nation on this planet. In short, we are Frank Sinatra. Dennis Miller laying-down bones punk If you're a man and you have big tits, don't wear a tight T-shirt, okay? It confuses the children! Dennis Miller t-shirt men children Growing up, my family wasn't very tight. We were more like a tour group with secrets. Dennis Miller groups growing-up secret The soldiers kill suicide bombers. Think about that. When a guys whole thing in life is to kill himself and you get there first... you are halling ass my friends. Dennis Miller things-in-life suicide thinking The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a bad guy... When I'm in Los Angeles having these incredibly surreal moments where nobody's saying anything and everybody's talking incessantly, I always have that Pittsburgh voice in my head - shut up, smile, get the job, move on. Dennis Miller talking jobs moving Teresa Lewis, the only woman on death row in Virginia, says she doesn't deserve the death penalty because she only hired the killers of her husband and stepson, she didn't actually pull the trigger herself. You know, she has a point. I think we should let her be able to hire the person who executes her, and not do yourself in! How's that, doll? Yeah! Get it over with quick, maybe Charlize Theron will sign up to play you. Dennis Miller virginia husband thinking I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from overseas wants to blow up their wedding, that's when I'm right. Dennis Miller gay nuts blow Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they were hanging wash. Now they just say it on the Internet. Dennis Miller humor humanity funny The government could take away all the drugs in the world and people would spin around on their lawns until they fell down and saw God. Dennis Miller drug government people We should fight to preserve a country where people such as Michael Moore get to miss the point as badly as he misses it. Michael Moore represents everything I detest in a human being. Dennis Miller fighting country people Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us laugh is a mystery - an involuntary response. Dennis Miller laughter intellectual laughing America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school. Dennis Miller summer country school
