Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?" Bill Cosby More Quotes by Bill Cosby More Quotes From Bill Cosby You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it. Bill Cosby cutting success cute People will frighten you about a graduation.... They use words you don't hear often: And we wish you Godspeed." It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices." Bill Cosby graduation mean people While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?' I asked one girl of seven. 'No,' she sweetly replied, 'I help make the mess.' It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. Bill Cosby girl mother jobs You know my father's favorite game? Come here and pull my finger. Bill Cosby fingers games father It is a point of pride for the American male to keep the same size jockey shorts for his entire life. Bill Cosby jockeys males pride If you have no faith, you've lost your battle. Bill Cosby battle ifs lost For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next. Bill Cosby down-and senior college Among the guitarists, Wes Montgomery is fantastic. He's always good to let you know what the art form is all about. It's the same still life that everybody is painting, but in comes Wes Montgomery, and it's right there! Bill Cosby painting guitar art Gray hair is God's graffiti. Bill Cosby humor god funny Our children are angry. The profanity is out in the street. It's on the buses and in the subway. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening. Bill Cosby listening trying children I didn't know how serious it is to a female that you lift the lid. Bill Cosby know-how female serious In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it. Bill Cosby family mother children You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap! Bill Cosby lap skulls faces You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery. Bill Cosby lightning tickets winning I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences. Bill Cosby differences race thinking Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in). Bill Cosby growing-up father children Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. Bill Cosby humor men funny Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting. Bill Cosby house running interesting And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl. Bill Cosby miniatures dentist toilets Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is. Bill Cosby fatherhood names son
