Of all God's creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain When the end of the world comes, I want to be in Kentucky, because everything there happens 20 years after it happens anywhere else. Mark Twain kentucky world years A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read. Mark Twain education success inspirational There's always something about your success that displeases even your best friends. Mark Twain your-best-friend success I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever. Mark Twain particles vices men Both marriage and death ought to be welcome: the one promises happiness, doubtless the other assures it. Mark Twain marriage funny death Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. Mark Twain apples want mistake I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's. Mark Twain religious men religion Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. Mark Twain kings inspirational children Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial 'we.' Mark Twain inspiration kings funny Data is like garbage. You'd better know what you are going to do with it before you collect it. Mark Twain garbage data communication great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great. Mark Twain divorce kindness funny Sometimes my feelings are so hot that I have to take the pen and put them out on paper to keep them from setting me afire inside; then all that ink and labor are wasted because I can't print the results Mark Twain ink hot feelings Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain sarcastic inspirational funny What is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because he was disappointed in the monkey. Mark Twain monkeys men father The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers and they who are millionaires. Mark Twain spirit matter may The Church has opposed every innovation and discovery from the day of Galileo down to our own time, when the use of anesthetics in childbirth was regarded as a sin because it avoided the biblical curse pronounced against Eve. Mark Twain biblical innovation discovery Sane and intelligent human beings are like all other human beings, and carefully and cautiously and diligently conceal their private real opinions from the world and give out fictitious ones in their stead for general consumption. Mark Twain others-opinions intelligent real It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he had stuck in one place since he was born and thought God made the world and dyspepsia and bile for his especial comfort and satisfaction. Mark Twain conceited mean travel Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. Mark Twain effort parent children Every civilization carries the seeds of its own destruction, and the same cycle shows in them all. The Republic is born, flourishes, decays into plutocracy, and is captured by the shoemaker whom the mercenaries and millionaires make into a king. The people invent their oppressors, and the oppressors serve the function for which they are invented. Mark Twain kings civilization people
