Once the high priests and the traders took over, we were lost as a species. George Carlin More Quotes by George Carlin More Quotes From George Carlin Meow” means “woof” in cat. George Carlin dog inspirational mean When you think about it, 12:15 P.M. is actually 11:75 A.M. George Carlin thinking I hope no one asks me to show them the ropes; I have no idea where they are. Maybe I could pull some strings and find out. George Carlin rope humorous ideas The good lord tripped me up behind the line of scrimmage. George Carlin behinds lines lord Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. George Carlin atheist religious men I enjoy watching a woman with really bad teeth and a good sense of humor struggling to use her lips and tongue to hide her teeth when she's laughing. I just stand there and tell her joke after joke after joke. George Carlin lips struggle laughing Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. When you have to wait a year to sleep next to a tree, something is wrong. George Carlin sleep fun years If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little. George Carlin perspective humor funny I sort of gave up on this whole human adventure a long time ago, divorced myself from it emotionally. It gives me an artistic detachment that I find valuable. I think the human race has squandered its gift, and I think this country has squandered its promise, for the sake of cell phones and Jet Skis. George Carlin adventure country thinking You can't fight City Hall, but you can goddamn sure blow it up. George Carlin fighting stupid blow Number one, one, one on wonderful WINO. George Carlin winos wonderful numbers No one knows what's next, but everybody does it. George Carlin stupid witty funny When Thomas Edison worked late into the night on the electric light, he had to do it by gas lamp or candle. I'm sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin lamps light night Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another. George Carlin corny ovation needs My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. George Carlin government believe firsts When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say? George Carlin humor taken funny And now, in the interest of equal time, here is a message from the National George Carlin stupid messages people I think we’re part of a greater wisdom that we will ever understand; a higher order, call it what you want. Know what I call it? The Big Electron. It doesn’t punish, it doesn’t reward, it doesn’t judge at all. It just is. George Carlin judging order thinking The status quo sucks. George Carlin humor life funny Christians worship a dead Jew on a stick George Carlin sticks worship christian