PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginar... by Ambrose Bierce

PITIFUL, adj. The state of an enemy or opponent after an imaginary encounter with oneself.

Ambrose Bierce

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Categorized in : Enemy Encounters Opponents

RIDICULE, n. Words designed to show that the person of whom they are uttered is devoid of the dignity of character distinguishing him who utters them.

ridicule dignity character

REFLECTION,n: An Action of the mind whereby we obtain a clearer view of our relation to the things of yesterday and are able to avoid the perils that we shall not again encounter

reflection views yesterday

CUNNING, n. The faculty that distinguishes a weak animal or person from a strong one. It brings its possessor much mental satisfaction and great material adversity. An Italian proverb says: "The furrier gets the skins of more foxes than asses."

adversity strong animal

MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion to learn.

subjects learning persons

R.I.P. A careless abbreviation of "requiescat in pace", attesting to indolent goodwill to the dead. According to the learned Dr. Drigge, however, the letters originally meant nothing more than "reductus in pulvis".

drs learning pace

LEXICOGRAPHER, n. A pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen its flexibility and mechanize its methods.

lexicographer growth doe

MISCREANT, n. A person of the highest degree of unworth. Etymologically, the word means unbeliever, and its present signification may be regarded as theology's noblest contribution to the development of our language.

degrees development mean

PANTOMIME, n. A play in which the story is told without violence to the language. The least disagreeable form of dramatic action.

violence stories play

RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself. by Ambrose Bierce

RIBALDRY, n. Censorious language by another concerning oneself.

oneself language

X, n. In our alphabet being a needless letter has an added invincibility to the attacks of the spelling reformers, and like them, will doubtless last as long as the language.

lasts letters long

LOSS, n. Privation of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a defeated candidate that he "lost his election".

election losing loss

MAN, n. An animal so lost in rapturous contemplation of what he thinks he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.

animal men thinking

AUSTRALIA, n. A country lying in the South Sea, whose industrial and commercial development has been unspeakably retarded by an unfortunate dispute among geographers as to whether it is a continent or an island.

funny country lying

Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin. by Ambrose Bierce

Magic: (n) The art of converting superstition into coin.

coins magic art

CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager.

target writing lying

FIB, n. A lie that has not cut its teeth. An habitual liar's nearest approach to truth: the perigee of his eccentric orbit.

cutting liars lying

RUBBISH, n. Worthless matter, such as the religions, philosophies, literatures, arts and sciences of the tribes infesting the regions lying due south from Boreaplas.

philosophy lying art

RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul.... by Ambrose Bierce

RUSSIAN, n. A person with a Caucasian body and a Mongolian soul. A Tartar Emetic.

caucasian body soul

TAIL, n. The part of an animal's spine that has transcended its natural limitations to set up an independent existence in a world of its own.

independent tails animal

PIG, n. An animal ("Porcus omnivorus") closely allied to the human race by the splendor and vivacity of its appetite, which, however, is inferior in scope, for it sticks at pig.

animal pigs food