Property is theft. Nobody "owns" anything. When you die, it all stays here. George Carlin More Quotes by George Carlin More Quotes From George Carlin What exactly is 'viewer discretion'? If viewers had discretion, most television shows would not be on the air. George Carlin exactly-is air television Weather forecast for tonight: dark. George Carlin smart laughter sarcastic The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin girl christmas funny People always tell me "Have a nice day." Well what if I don't want to? What if I want to have a crappy day? George Carlin sarcastic witty funny With the proper training, I could've been an evil genius. George Carlin training genius evil Language is a tool for concealing the truth. If we could read each other's minds, this would be a horror show. George Carlin tools would-be mind Here’s a bumper sticker I’d like to see: “We are the proud parents of a child who’s self-esteem is sufficient that he doesn’t need us promoting his minor scholastic achievements on the back of our car." George Carlin sarcastic witty funny That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin sarcastic dream funny Life is sacred? Who said so, God? Hey, if you read history you'll realize that God is one of the leading causes of death...has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Muslims, Christians, Jews, all taking turns killing each other because God told them it was a good idea. George Carlin christian years ideas The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. George Carlin staying-young persons life-is Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that. George Carlin dream time funny War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always has been. George Carlin class men war Obviously, there are people who constrict themselves and build walls around themselves, whether it's from a moral standpoint or a patriotic standpoint, or just plain old conformity, and who therefore live in those little prisons, and when things breach those walls, it's shocking for them. George Carlin patriotic wall people Military cemeteries around the world are packed with brainwashed dead soldiers who were convinced God was on their side. America prays for God to destroy our enemies. Our enemies pray for God to destroy us. Somebody's gonna be disappointed! Somebody's wasting their time! Could it be.. everyone? George Carlin military soldier america If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? George Carlin self helping book If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting? George Carlin inspirational life funny I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin hilarious sarcastic funny "No comment" is a comment. George Carlin humor stupid funny The violence of the Left is symbolic, the injuries are not intended. The violence of the Right is real - directed at people, designed to cause injuries. Vietnam, nuclear weapons, police out of control are intentional forms of violence. The violence from the Right is aimed directly at people and the violence from the Left is aimed at institutions and symbols. George Carlin police real people Israeli murderers are called "commandos," Arab commandos are called "terrorists." George Carlin terrorist murderer humorous
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