Religion consists in a set of things which the average man thinks he believes and wishes he was certain of. Mark Twain More Quotes by Mark Twain More Quotes From Mark Twain The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. Mark Twain inspirationspringyears Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. Mark Twain sarcasticsuccessinspirational Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. Mark Twain succeeddonedetermination A woman springs a sudden reproach upon you which provokes a hot retort, and then she will presently ask you to apologize. Mark Twain womenhotspring July 4. Statistics show that we lose more fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together. This proves, by the number left in stock, that one fourth of July per year is now inadequate, the country has grown so Mark Twain 4th-of-julycountryyears Strange is the man who practices his religion. Mark Twain strangepracticemen My parents were neither very poor nor conspicuously honest. Mark Twain parentinghonestparent Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. Mark Twain humorinspirationalfunny All the territorial possessions of all the political establishments in the earth--including America, of course-- consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe, howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies a foot of land that was not stolen. Mark Twain landfeetamerica The man who isn't a pessimist is a damned fool. Mark Twain foolhe-manmen A little starvation can really do more for the average sick man than can the best medicines and the best doctors. Mark Twain doctorsaveragemen Of all the animals, man is the only one that lies. Mark Twain honestyanimallying There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual. ...Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a symbol: you want it not for itself, but because it will content your spirit for the moment. Mark Twain greedspiritualwant My memory was never loaded with anything but blank cartridges. Mark Twain loadedblankmemories The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is attacked, and every man will be glad of those conscience-soothing falsities, and will diligently study them, and refuse to examine any refutations of them; and thus he will by and by convince himself that the war is just, and will thank God for the better sleep he enjoys after this process of grotesque self-deception. Mark Twain truthpeacelying Wagner’s music is better than it sounds. Mark Twain musichumorouswitty I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest. Mark Twain hatredenthusiasmhouse Writing is easy. All you have to do is cross out the wrong words. Mark Twain confusingeasywriting I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being, of even the highest intelligence and culture, delivers an opinion upon a matter apart from his particular and especial line of interest, training and experience, it will always be an opinion of so foolish and so valueless a sort that it can be depended upon to suggest to our Heavenly Father that the human being is another disappointment and that he is no considerable improvement upon the monkey. Mark Twain disappointmentbelievefather We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain fifteentalentmusical
