Rich parents are famous both for miserliness and astonishing longevity. And, when they finally do die, you'll find they've left their estate in inviolate trust to the golden retrievers. P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke More Quotes From P. J. O'Rourke Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us. P. J. O'Rourke proposal rebellious government You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money. P. J. O'Rourke libertarian giving-money people Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren't present. P. J. O'Rourke flattery gossip objects I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. P. J. O'Rourke sunday morning thinking Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. P. J. O'Rourke laughter witty funny Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. P. J. O'Rourke young-parents pregnancy funny Never fight an inanimate object. P. J. O'Rourke witty life funny Always read something that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it. P. J. O'Rourke clever happiness funny You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. P. J. O'Rourke growing-up family children Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. P. J. O'Rourke feel-good government feelings America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased. P. J. O'Rourke wells comedy america Seriousness is stupidity sent to college. P. J. O'Rourke stupidity college stupid The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop. P. J. O'Rourke political government witty There's something about Marxism that brings out warts; the only kind of growth this economic system encourages. P. J. O'Rourke comedy growth kind I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it. P. J. O'Rourke woods terrible home I'm really tired of virtue. P. J. O'Rourke tired virtue Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading. P. J. O'Rourke cancer cutting nice We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans. P. J. O'Rourke government humans needs Crazy old people are our entire source of polling information. P. J. O'Rourke information crazy people Daniel Patrick Moynihan is the archetypal extremely smart person who went into politics anyway instead of doing something worthwhile for his country. P. J. O'Rourke worthwhile smart country
