Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word. Ian Shoales More Quotes by Ian Shoales More Quotes From Ian Shoales Football players, like prostitutes, are in the business of ruining their bodies for the pleasure of strangers. Ian Shoales player football funny I don't like people who speak French in public places. This includes the French. Ian Shoales speaks-french speak people Sigmund Freud was a half baked Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never written a word. Ian Shoales movie would-be culture I know what love is: Tracy and Hepburn, Bogart and Bacall, Romeo and Juliet, Jackie and John and Marilyn. Ian Shoales bogart juliet love Advice to rock gods: drugwise, stick to Ibuprofen, decaf lattes, and pale Pilsners ... If your stomach is not a flat slab, please leave your shirt on while performing ... If your girlfriend asks you to choose between her and your music, sell your instruments immediately - especially if you're a drummer ... Finally, go easy on the supermodels, don't forget to tune, and remember: a tiny bit of dry ice and lasers goes a long way. Ditto with tattoos. Ian Shoales rocks girlfriend tattoo Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could Ian Shoales amadeus jerk play Never ask a woman why she's angry at you. She will either get angrier at you for not knowing, or she'll tell you. Both ways, you lose. Ian Shoales anger knowing way The word relationship best refers to the connection between parasite and host, or shark and remora. It's a biological term. I'd rather be a jerk than a scientist when it comes to love. Ian Shoales sharks connections love Americans will buy anything, as long as it doesn't cross the thin line between cute and demonic. Ian Shoales lines cute long Favorite color: I hate colors. Ian Shoales i-hate color hate L.A.: where there's never weather, and walking is a crime. L.A.: where the streetlights and palm trees go on forever, where darkness never comes, like a deal that never goes down, a meeting that's never taken. The City of Angels: where every cockroach has a screenplay and even the winos wear roller skates. It's that kind of town. Ian Shoales angel taken cities Men want to put their signature at the bottom; women don't want to finish that letter. Ian Shoales signatures women letters Everybody's excited about the new service economy, even though there is no actual service as near as I can tell. Ian Shoales excited economy i-can They don't produce anything. All they do is guide you through the labyrinth of the legal system that they created - and they keep changing it just in case you start to catch on. Ian Shoales labyrinth legal-system ethics I read a column by George Will that SCARFACE should be rated X because parents were taking their children to see it. So what? Why should the motion-picture industry be responsible for our morality? Dad says to Mom, `SCARFACE is in town.' `What's it about?' `Human scum who kill each other over cocaine deals.' `Sounds great! Let's take the kids!' Ian Shoales dad mom children
